My Toddler speak is rusty…

Peanut babbles/jabbers all. the. time….

About 1 sound in 562,265,566 is understandable…she mostly communications her needs/wants/wishes through a series of complicated grunts, whines and hand gestures which are sometimes accompanied by the stomping of her little feet….

Here’s the list of oft-spoken words and phrases discernible to grown up ears:

  1. NO.
  2. STOP.
  3. DON’T.
  4. Uh-uh
  5. Thank You
  6. Night Night
  7. Hi!
  8. Ow! (also sometimes Wow!)

This morning after asking/telling her repeatedly to get out from behind my couch (a suggestion she was FIRMLY opposed to), I was forced to physically remove her from behind said couch and put her in a 30 second time-out to which she very distinctly said “NOT NICE”….

I’d like to think she was acknowledging her own misbehavior but I’m realistically inclined to believe her newly coined phrase was her expressing her opinion of the imposed punishment…

I can’t prove it, but the other day I’m fairly certain our budding wordsmith uttered the phrase “F*ck off”….I supposed it could just as easily have been “Television” or maybe “Juice”…

I no longer speak Toddler…

I tried to find a tutorial online. Seriously, I Googled “Interpreting Toddler Speak” and “How to understand baby talk” and many variations thereof….The interwebs are as clueless on this subject as I am.


And so, I’ll continue my attempts to decipher her wants through a complicated and time consuming  process of elimination:

Peanut (standing in the middle of the kitchen, pointing in several directions simultaneously): “Aahneebabanish”

Gram: “Do you want a drink?”

Peanut: “NO!”

Gram: “Are you hungry?

Peanut (Volume increasing radically, and stomping from one foot to the other): “NONONO!” (jabbing chubby forefinger for emphasis)

Gram: (Going to refrigerator, desperation creeping into voice) “Do you want juice?” “Milk??”


Gram: “Cookie??” “Raisins??” “Cash????” “Do you want to go Night Night??”

Peanut (Moving to a cabinet, up on tippy toes, attempting to open a drawer) AAAAAWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!”

Gram (Opening the drawer, lifting Baby up to see in it) WHA???”

Peanut (Reaching into drawer to retrieve a refrigerator magnet she stashed in there weeks ago): “Thank You” (Making happy baby noises and grinning from ear to ear)

Gram: “OY”

Someone needs to publish a Toddler to English translation book….

Peanut finger