Damn you Blinking Cursor…

My cursor is mocking me, I have writers block. I think…Running out of things to say has never EVER been an issue before so I’m not sure of the signs of writers block but I definitely think this is it….

*blink*

*blink*

*blink*

I got nuthin’…

I know I forewarned ya’ll about slowing down on the blogging til after Wedding/Baby stuff has settled down but I totally meant to at least deliver a few posts with some measure of meaningful dialogue….but….

Still. Nuthin’…

*blink*

*Blink*

*BLINK!*

So what does one do to cure writers block?? Anybody??

 ……*crickets*…..

I’m gonna Google it…

*waiting*

Ok so here’s what this website suggested:

1. Browse the web for inspiration. So does that mean copy/paste from someone else’s blog? Cause I am totally on board with that…

2. Take a break. And by break, you mean nap?? I’m a fan…

3. Explore new subjects. Now gee, if I had subjects in mind I wouldn’t have writer’s block would I??  Call me crazy…

4. Go back to the basics and use pen and paper. Really??? ‘Cause adding writers CRAMP to my writer’s BLOCK is going to help out. Epic suggestion…

5. Word association. They suggest starting with the word salad and see where it goes. This could be helpful if I wanted to post about vegetables….not sure how I feel about that.

6. Reduce, Reuse, Recycle, go back to an old post you’ve written and expand on it. This actually would be helpful if my blog was older than 3 months, but all my posts are still too fresh in ya’lls mind so pretty sure you’d throw the B.S. flag on that one at this point

7. Opt for lists. Ha! On it….

8. Lower your expectations. I’m blogging about writer’s block whilst suffering from writer’s block. Pretty sure my expectations are nil…

9. Eat a snack. I’m liking where they’re going with this. Mini Reese’s cups are brain food…

10. Draw a picture. I have no response to that….there is not an original thought in my head right now, but sure, let me doodle….that’ll help.

There’s an additional  26 equally helpful suggestions on the website I consulted. I think it’s safe to say that the author of these nuggets of wisdom was suffering a similar problem…

Take that, mocking little blinking BLINKER, 400 words with no point to them whatsoever!!! A whole post about absofrigginlutely nothing! Nah nah nee boo boo!

Happy Monday, send ideas if you have any!

🙂

Advertisements

Thank You, and not just on Sundays

You Peeps amaze me!

The Blog had 213 more visitors in September than it did in August and now has readers in 36 countries! Honestly, I couldn’t even name 36 countries….Where is Oman?? Anybody?? I have 2 readers there, please tell me where you are and how the heck you found me!

GROWTH IS GOOD!! (unless we’re talking about my rear-end and then growth is bad, but that’s a post for another day!)

I started this little venture on a whim. The idea just popped in my head one day, I pushed it to the back burner and let it marinate for a few days. Then I did some research, found a webhost I liked, plunked down my money and bought my domain and never looked back!

I’ve written a new post every day for the 80 days since gram-cracker.com went live. Some days I can’t type fast enough to keep up with the torrent of words flying out of my brain.  Other days I sit with fingers poised on the keyboard waiting for something remotely interesting to say, completely unable to form a coherent thought. Waiting….

Some days I write multiple posts because the ideas just appear out of nowhere and pretty much write themselves, so I end up stockpiling stories which comes in handy for those days when I got nuthin’….

I’ve written drafts that seemed great at the time, but I’ve never published because in retrospect they don’t seem that great. So they sit in my drafts folder waiting to be reworked into something worth your time…

I find inspiration in the wierdest places, at the strangest moments; I wrote Dear Ben & Jerry, Grammy’s got your back in my head on my way to work. I logged into my computer and wrote the draft in 3 minutes! It took me longer to find the links I wanted to include than it did to write the post…all because I read a snippet of a story on Yahoo about the One Million Mom protest.

The single most popular post to date has been No really, you SHOULDN’T have which I totally wrote as a joke, the second most read post has been Date Night which honestly I thought was just a little filler piece…Then there are the posts I labored over that held very little interest for anyone but me apparently, A totally scientific study in cultural differences being one of them. I thought that one was funny as hell in a very sarcastic kind of way. Ya’ll disagreed!

I am most proud, from a writer’s standpoint of The loss of small town innocence. It came straight from my gut, and I’m not ashamed to admit that I cried almost the entire time I was writing it. It’s difficult to type when your vision is blurred and you can’t see the monitor….

Why do I blog? Because it’s theraputic, like journaling for some people. It’s gratifying. It makes me look at things and people around me in a whole new way, because now everything is fodder for the Blog. I saw this t-shirt online that says “I’m blogging all of this” and I’m soooooo getting it because it’s absolutely the truth!

I used to have things like E-online and CNN online bookmarked on my laptop. Now I have the Urban dictionary and thesarus.com bookmarked because I get tired of describing thing as amazing and I’m sure you get tired of reading the same adjectives over and over…

This Blog has become my hobby, my obsession. It’s now what I do. I get up in the morning, review the day’s post for the 100th time and then publish it. Then I spend about an hour reading and commenting on other Blogger’s sites to help generate traffic to mine. I write, edit, rewrite or proofread at work when I have time. I write, edit, research, rewrite, proofread, photograph some more when I get home. I average about 4 hours a day working on drafts.

Everytime one of you hits that little “share” button at the top and bottom of every post, I get a new reader or 2. So THANK YOU, from the bottom of heart. Thank you!

🙂

Mustangs do not make me behave inappropriately…

Hubby took me out on a date Saturday night to Sturgis for Steak Tips at Loud American Roadhouse, and to see the parade at the Mustang Rally….except the parade ended at 6:30 pm and we got there at…..6:30 pm. I was bummed but consoled myself with a  plate of Tips and Chips and a Captain Morgan Bahama Mama which made it alllllll better!

Snapped a couple pics of some of the cars still hanging around outside the restaurant…..

  Figuring our night was coming to an uneventful close, we jumped in the truck and started for home….and then I saw IT…..passing by on a cross street….

Me: “Oooooohh FOLLOW IT!!!”

Hub: “For real?”

Me: *drool* “uh huh”

Hub: “Ohhhhhhhkayyyyy….”

So we did! Totally stalked this poor old guy in a White on Red GT 350….for a few miles….

 

 Me: “He’s not stopping….why isn’t he stopping??? Doesn’t he need gas or something?? Dinner???”

Hub: “Maybe he already did all that Babe”

Me: “Pretty inconsiderate….”

Hub: “Ya want me to pass him?”

Me:YES.”

We did. I hung out the window with the camera….

 

This was not inappropriate behavior on my part…. I would have felt bad for the old guy,  who looked a little nervous when he noticed a middle-aged woman hanging out the window of a passing car furiously snapping his picture. But I didn’t, because he totally brought it on himself, I wouldn’t have had to STALK him  if he’d just stopped for a Snickers bar or a Slurpee…On second thought, he’s probably flattered. Betcha I  provided him with a great story about being chased by the paparazzi to tell his Moose Lodge buddies. I’ve probably upped his local celebrity status…..”You are welcome Old-Guy-with-Hot-Car-from-Wyoming”  

Then this happened to some poor Schmuck just ahead of us (Duh duh duhhhhhh) and kiboshed  the whole high speed Mustang chase thing. Flipped a u-ey….

 (Hi Bear Butte!)

 (Can’t help myself,  I have to take it’s picture every time I see it)  Anyhooo….

Back into town we went, for some completely uneventful, totally boring admiring of parked ‘Stangs….so not the same!

*Sighhhhh* Somebody bring me a bib….or hand me a napkin…

“Honey if I buy this one will you soop it up for me????”

“No??….Then buy me some Ice Cream???”

And he did…life is good!

🙂

The Sad Penis…

Meet the Sad Penis. It was the focal point of the tiara that Avery’s Mom (the Maid of Honor) bestowed on Chef Vivi (the Bride) as part of the requisite retarded Bachelorette party attire.  It was supposed to stand erect, but as you can see clearly suffered from E.D. (Erectile Dysfunction).

It also made it extremely difficult to carry on a conversation with her. We never realized how much she moves her head as she talks until she put the tiara on and had this flaccid pink penis bobbing incessantly at us with every word she uttered. She uttered a lot. It bobbed a lot. It was impossible to concentrate on anything she was saying, which only made her repeat herself which only caused more bobbing.

She herself was totally distracted by it. This resulted in her losing her train of thought, which made her have to start over which lead to more vigorous bobbing. It was a vicious never ending cycle….

However, it completed her transformation from normal Bridal shower Bride-To-Be….

To Bride-To-Be Fairy on crack….

 I can’t prove it but I’m convinced that Sad Penis was possessed (think haunted 1958 Plymouth Fury from Steven King’s “Christine”) by the ghost of Marilyn Monroe as Vivi was inexplicably attracted to the bronze President statues that populate downtown Rapid City…

Although Teddy Roosevelt totally came onto her first.

It started out innocently enough because she actually thought this was Captain Morgan and so wasn’t really being disrespectful to one of our Founding Fathers….

Hunching up on a Ex President is a highly inappropriate  activity for a respectable young Bride-To-Be…

I was appalled. I don’t know this girl. Go back to your evil Alien Pod and give me back my Daughter….

After a trip to a place which shall not be named and participating in things that shall not be spoken of **shudder** Sad Penis met his untimely demise. It was a tragic and brutal ending to an already sad existence. And just like that, the spirit of Marilyn drifted upward to Heaven only to be replaced by a more hideous, horrifying entity….

 Axl Rose.

An exorcism is needed. Call an Old Priest and a Young Priest. Bring Gallons of Holy Water.

Oy….

🙂

Date Night!

Don’t you just love spontaneous fun?? Chef Vivi and I decided spur of the moment to treat ourselves to a fancy schmancy dinner at a Foodie heaven restaurant here in town, made possible thanks to a gift certificate Viv got for Tally’s as a Thank You gift  for taking pictures of some friend’s little girls before she moved to Washington. So free fancy schmancy dinner thankyouverymuch!!!

The food was, as always, fabulous. If you live around here and haven’t been to Tally’s you should totally treat yourself and go, it’s not the normal kind of fare you’re used to in Rapid City!

As good as our dinner was, it was not the highlight of the night, the talking, laughing, sharing bites of yum and just spending time togethere was. And It occurred to me that it was probably the last one-on-one time we will spend together before she gets married. *sob* We made the absolute most of our night…

Wagyu Beef with carrots, peas, black truffle potatoes and roasted red pepper foie gras fondue

 

Hawaiian Moonfish Cheek with black truffle risotto and parsnip crisps

 

What else did we do??? Prowled Kohl’s until they booted us out at closing time of course! (Did you know that Kohl’s carried Vera Wang?? Did you know that Vera Wang makes some weird looking stuff???) We ended our night with full, happy tummys, totally cheap fun watches and big smiles on our faces…perfection!

🙂