I love to paint wall trim said Nobody. Ever.

Guess what I’m doing??

I’ve been talking about redecorating this house for a few months. New paint on everything but the carpet; basically I want no more boring golden oak and I’m sick of my butter yellow walls upstairs. Our main floor is an open floor plan consisting of our kitchen, dining room, living room with only the master bedroom/bath being separated by walls. I have adored the wall color for almost 6 years, and now I’m completely over it.

Hubs feels the same way about his 600+ square foot Denver Bronco shrine that is in our finished basement; white walls, navy blue trim, navy blue and orange shelving and mongo custom built-in corner desk lovingly detailed by the hand of yours truly when we bought the house…He’s ready for a change to something a bit more tranquil with an outdoorsey color palet that will compliment his hunting/fishing trophies.

So we’re painting…..and painting……AND PAINTING…..

As I mentioned, I’ve been mulling this project over for a few months now trying to decide on a color scheme for the upstairs that’s neutral without being boring, updated without being trendy and livable…I’ve decided to have hubs add a nice wide chair rail around the entire upstairs space. I really wanted to put beadboard (or wainscoting) below the chair rail but since our builder thought covering every square inch (including the ceilings) with a very heavily textured drywall I decided the vertical lines of the beadboard would be too busy. I even considered making Hubs skim coat the entire wall area to smooth out all that stupid bumpy texture but decided I love him too much to make him do that! Instead I’ll just paint the wall below the chair rail white and a nice soft gray above it…

Has anyone been to the paint store lately and checked out the 684,975,039 different shades of gray paint to choose from???


I got 3 different paint samples, came home and slapped big swatches of each on 3 different walls upstairs:









A is too brown and dark, B is too blue and C is too blue and dark. Ugh….they all looked so much lighter on those stupid little paint chips…I even painted some of the white I picked for the trim and wall below the chair rail thinking maybe B and C looked too blue because of the yellow…So……back to the paint store for more samples I go.

By the way, I also painted a swatch of white on a piece of trim. Permanently disfiguring the decor is how I stop us from procrastinating on this project any further! Our OCD will kick in and we’ll get the job done to keep from having to look at the goofy swatches of paint smeared around the room….(Go me!)


See? It’s called INCENTIVE….









Also, I’m painting my kitchen cabinets. Won’t that be fun?? AND we have a deadline, all painting has to be completed before Chef Vivi gets here at the end of March so her little preggo self isn’t inhaling harmful paint fumes….

Speaking of paint…Since the closest Home Depot is 100+ miles away using my all time favorite paint (Behr) was out. When we bought this house I asked a friend who had done a lot of painting in her home what brand she used. She recommended Diamond Vogel. I bought 8 gallons of it, and based on the store’s recommendation I got semi-gloss for the main floor area as it was supposed to be more durable and scrubbable  (my spellcheck says scrubbable is not a word. What say you?? Totally sounds like a word to me). I now have very little paint left on the wall above my sink because it comes off every time I wipe off a splatter. Grrrrr…… and I think the Valspar brand that Lowe’s sells is crap, not to mention the last time I bought paint from Lowe’s they mixed 2 of the 3 colors wrong (remember the shed fiasco and the mauve paint??) so no way was I giving them another shot…

I went to our other big box home improvement store and got samples of their Pittsburgh Grand Distinction paint which is supposed to be top o’ the line. It wasn’t. It was thin and didn’t cover worth a hoot. I wanted to try an Ace Hardware brand that got great reviews online but they don’t sell those little 3 oz sample jars and a quart is almost as much as a gallon…Bambi recommended Dutch Boy, so I got their line of Refresh paint (low fumes) for using in Hubs big room downstairs. LOVE IT. Love! Goes on smooth and covers like nobody’s business!! The off white I got to cover the navy blue on all the trim completely covered in 2 coats with NO PRIMER! I’m totally impressed. I was so afraid I was gonna end up shelling out $45 bucks a gallon for Benjamin Moore because I couldn’t find a cheaper brand that covered as well. At $28 a gallon the Dutch Boy Refresh is my new favorite paint! (Just an FYI, I sure as hell ain’t getting paid by Dutch Boy to say nice things!)

I may not post as frequently for the next couple of weeks while I work on these big redecorating projects but I’ll keep ya updated on how it’s all coming along. While painting the underside of the top of a door sill I felt a coolness on my chest. It was paint that I was pouring down the front of myself, apparently when I lean my head back I lean the rest of me too including the hand holding the paint container. That was only day 2 of the project so just imagine what other stunts I’ll be able to amuse y’all with in the weeks to come!


An effort in effin’ futility….

Hubs and I seldom ever argue…

Or roll our eyes at each other in frustration…

Or flip each other off when one’s back is turned…

Unless it’s time to rearrange the furniture. And then all bets are off…

That looks dumb”

What if we move that over there?”

Nuh uh. I don’t like it. What do you think?”

Well do you HAVE to sit right there?? What if you sit here?”

**eye roll**

“I really want that here”

Well I think it sucks there”

It’s gay”

“You’re gay”


Can we move this here and that over there and then put the big ass honkin’ TV on this wall??”

We need a bigger living room”

We need smaller furniture”

Why the hell did we buy this sectional? I hate it”

You picked it out”

**Middle finger in air, eyes narrowed. Paint peeling off wall behind recipient’s head**

It’s fine. I like it”

“Oh f*ck it. Put this there and that here and my chair over yonder”

Isn’t that the way it was to begin with?”


And that, my friends is how you spend a blustery, blizzard-ey Sunday afternoon; moving living room furniture all around the room only to admit defeat and put it right back where it all was originally. Sitting in your same chair, starting at the same glare riddled TV while you watch the Soprano’s in uncomfortable silence….












I may circulate a petition to change the name of our little township…

‘Cuz I’m a hermit…(not the frog kind). I’ve voluntarily surrendered my Social Butterfly status…

her·mit  (hûrmt)


1. A person who has withdrawn from society and lives a solitary existence; a recluse.
2. A spiced cookie made with molasses, raisins, and nuts.

(Ok, did anyone know there was a cookie called a Hermit?? I didn’t….and while I may be nuts, I was referring to myself more as definition 1)

Proof: On December 27th I drove Captain America and Chef Vivi to the airport after they spent Christmas here, I needed to put gas in my truck before getting too far down the road and C.A. was quicker to jump out and shove his credit card in the gas pump than I was….I just finished that tank on Thursday (February 7). I don’t drive a hybrid that gets 50 mpg, I drive an SUV (albeit a little one). I live 8 miles from town, 10 from Hellmart…Does that give you an idea of how often I leave my house??

And sometimes that’s too often….

I could happily go weeks without seeing a soul other than my Hubs, & my Peanut. I have Netflix and about 87 unread books on my eReader and untold numbers of craft projects in various stages of completion to keep me entertained. Cabin fever is not something I suffer from….

Bambi-Lou took me out for face-to-face girl time the other day and I had a blast (Hello?? Coldstone ice cream for lunch!) poking through various thrift/junk/antique stores with her. Now I’m stocked up on Bambi time for a few more weeks…

I enjoy my solitude. I still shower and get dressed (including a bra…most days) in semi real clothes (yoga pants do too count) and do my hair (cuz I have 30 seconds to spare) just like I did when I had to get up and go to a j.o.b. Sometimes just for fun, I watch the neighborhood out my window Mrs. Kravitz style…

Interestingly, even though I have declared myself one, whenever I  hear the word Hermit that baudy limerick comes to mind….

There once was a hermit named Dave….(no caves or dead hookers around here)

I searched the interwebs for a cute hermit cartoon to share…when googling “hermit cartoons” I got pictures of crabs (the shelled kind not the crotch kind. Ew) and wise old guru type dudes sitting on mountain tops. Hmmmmm…..

It was a very disappointing 1 a.m. search…so you get this:









AND….not a single female hermit picture to be found via Google. Why is that, do you suppose? I think Google is stereotyping. We should sue the bastards!

I even looked on Pinterest, where I found many pictures of “Herman’s Hermits” whom I’d forgotten about (couldn’t name one song they did so they’re pretty much irrelevant in my book) and a bunch of tarot card stuff. I did find several pics of so-called hermit girls but I completely doubt their accuracy:












If she’s a hermit I’ll eat a worm…


You’re ever increasing anti-social agoraphobic misanthropic  reclusive introverted friend…


Sometimes the horse wins…

You’ve heard the old adage “You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink”…which of course means you cannot help someone who won’t lift a finger to help themselves. It kinda goes hand in hand with “A leopard can’t change his spots.” I’ve always believed that everyone is preordained to be the type of person they are on the inside be it gay or straight, driven to succeed or happy being in the middle, a loner or a joiner. We are who we are….

People can however learn to help themselves (or not) in their own good time. One can certainly change habits or acquire newer, better ones…stop using tobacco or alcohol, learn to eat healthier, stop being a slob, develop responsible spending habits, become prompt instead of always late, etc. If you choose to…

My fundamental nature is to be a nurturer. It’s both a blessing and a curse in that my need to help others doesn’t always coincide with their desire for help…I volunteer with out be asked, I dive into my self appointed task with dedication and perseverance. Subsequently I often end up disappointed and depressed when my efforts don’t yield the desired results. Does this deter me in any way from attempting the same thing over and over? Hell no….

So why do I do it? Because I have a controlling nature? Certainly. Because I truly love those I try to help? Without doubt. Do I need to knock it off? Yeppers…

For a time in my youth I spent every weekend possible volunteering at a public rent-a-horse riding stable. I was obsessed with being around horses, I was happiest when riding one. I know horses…and I’m here to tell ya they have incredibly strong necks so if they don’t want to take a drink of cool refreshing water, there’s no way in hell you can push/pull/bend that neck downward. What you will end up with instead is a butt load of frustration and thanks to all that tug of war, a sore body that feels like you got beat up…















I need to remember that people are the same…