We are NOT tacos….

I mentioned we got a new bed….

Did I mention we got an Ergo-motion bed??

With controls that raise the head or foot of the bed or BOTH?? Like a hospital bed?? (but without rails so Hubs is no safer from hitting the floor when I kick him out. Major oversight on his part. Heh eh eh!)


Well we did. We had a nice normal mattress/box springs set picked out after laying on about 15 different ones for extended periods of time, turning this way and that and generally flopping about like fishes outta water. Cuz we’re this many *holds up 4 fingers*….

The store only had one sales dude on duty so while we waited for him to finish up with another couple we goofed off on the beds we A) knew we couldn’t afford, or B) knew we didn’t want. I said to my Hubs in jest “Why don’t you go try that hospital type too while you’re at it”….He did. And that’s when the sales dude found us….

Sales Dude: Sir let me demonstrate for you. First, lets make the bed totally flat.

Hubs: Okey dokey.

Sales Dude: Now Sir, take a deep breath and slowly exhale while I raise the foot of the bed slightly….

Hubs: Whoa….

Sales Dude: Did you feel the pressure relief in your lower back?

Hubs: Yep, we’ll take it!

And so we did, with the mattress we’d original picked out to go on top of the magical frame. It got delivered Monday and that night we went to bed early, motivated by the thrill of a new “toy” and the promise of a sweet nights restful sleep and the benefits that accompany it….

Perhaps we should have hired the Sales Dude to come work the controls and tuck us in…..instead Hubs took charge and well…..










Does this look comfy to you??? No?? You are correct, it wasn’t.

We fell asleep with both the head and the foot elevated and woke up this morning with raging effin’ backaches. Dammit.

Now I get to be in charge of the bed remote.




4 thoughts on “We are NOT tacos….

  1. Long ago, (okay, it seems long ago, just let me talk, okay?) when we lived in the place I wanted to stay living but did not (no, I didn’t die and am now zombie typing, we moved here to Satan’s Nutsack, which is kind of like being a zombie, maybe a socio-cultural zombie), we went Over the Mountain to the Big Mall on the other side (and why do I name things like it’s going to be a myth or fairy tale? Dunno.) There at Big Mall was one of those Crafty Beds, or whatever the name was, where you could crank them up and down and all around and inflate and deflate and it was like honeymoon night at Cirque Du Soliel, I bet.
    Anyway, we “tried it out” and made a million dollars in the pay-per-view rights alone. No, we didn’t. Kidding. I could never make a sex tape. Heard of shy bladder? I have a shy vajayjay.
    Actually, it felt so good I wanted one RIGHT THERE AND THEN (the bed, woman, the bed, omg, where is your mind?) and then we found out they don’t deliver Over the Mountain and so to this day my back weeps at the memory of What Might Have Been.
    The End.
    Now brush your teeth and go to bed.

    (Happy late Thanksgiving, I love coming here. Peanut pics are perfection.)

    • If you ever travel over the Big Mountain, and another Big Mountain and through the GodAwful Prairie to the Medium sized Hills, you can spend the night on the Magic Bed (by yourself, I don’t swing that way)….

  2. I sat in an interesting chair at our local Fred Meyer the other day. It didn’t turn me into a pretzel but it did recline all by itself. Seriously. You push and hold the button on the side and the footrest glides up slowly, all the way until you’re practially horizontal. Can we say lazy?! Although I suppose if I were at all compassionate I’d have to admit there are probably people out there who can’t make their recliner recline. I guess they should get to enjoy the comfort of putting their feet up too.

    • Around here the footrest part of the recliner used to be used for lifting a Pug onto the couch cuz she was too FAT to jump up there by herself. Now it’s mainly used for lifting cute babies!

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