I need a vacation from retirement…











And after this day, I kinda need one….

It started yesterday, I went to the Mall (y’all know how I feel about that place) to get the Hubs some new clothes for our trip to Washington. Apparently, every man in Rapid City also needed new cargo shorts and all in the same size and color my Hubs wears because the pickin’s were slim….but I persevered and found him 3 new pairs (all in various shades of khaki, which didn’t make me too happy but I took what I could get) and 3 new t-shirts…..

And then he got home and tried them on….

Today, I took 2 pairs of shorts and all 3 shirts back….

Which means I had to go to the mall AGAIN (y’all know how I feel about THAT PLACE)…so now he’s got shorts in khaki, mud brown and country blue (he’s never owned mud brown or country blue shorts in his life) and he’s wearing them as I’ve already washed them so NO TAKING THEM BACK AGAIN! He also has 3 different new t-shirts which he will also wear and like (same reason).

I ain’t going back to the Mall again….

Also on trip to town #2, I got dog food, road trip snack food, an umbrella (helloooo…Seattle. duh.) and a birthday gift for Kolton-Joe, all of which I forgot on trip to town #1 yesterday….but as an added bonus Hubs called me while I was in Target to ask if I could run home and get him a work uniform as apparently a diesel fuel pump (or something, I don’t know, a car part of some kind) puked on him and he didn’t want to spend the day covered in diesel fuel….(picky picky)…Actually I agreed to be his “beck and call” girl when I retired so he had me on a technicality. So I went home, got said uniform, went back to town to drop it off to him and then finished my errands….

Along with my errands, I have a lengthy list of stuff to get done before we leave…and now a half day less to get them accomplished. Yes I’ve been home all week, but I’ve been busy holding down my comfy chair and keeping up with the other Real Housewives and baking cookies…oh the pressure…

Some days I just wear a Moomoo dress….









I could have gotten things done much more efficiently without the help of my dog….he decided to shorten my list of things to pack by eating some things I had laid out….like my iPod charger cord.

Little Bastard….

Another thing I could have done without? Washing a can of Hubs Copenhagen along with his laundry, necessitating the need to clean out the washing machine, a chore that seems completely and utterly redundant to me. Shouldn’t the sucker be self cleaning???Also had to rewash said laundry….TWICE to remove all the stupid little pieces of tobacco stubbornly clinging to everything. Tobacco in any form is just nasty and pain in my arse….I still need to clean the house because I despise leaving for vacation without the house being immaculate. Do not ask me why….and I gotta get it done PDQ so I’ll have time to go Babynap Avery so we can play and I can get stocked up on slobbery little kisses before I have to go 10 DAYS WITHOUT SEEING HER!!

10 days without this face??? I’ll never make it…












See??? I need a vacation from my job as Domestic Engineer….

Oh! Want to know what I learned from the All Male Stripper show??? I learned that male strippers are not in the LEAST punctual….and I hate being made to wait. When you get your little Dick Show started an hour and 20 minutes late, you get zilch from this old lady as a tip…no matter how much you shake it. And another thing….the penis is without a doubt the ugliest body part on a man. We’re not there to see it, we want gleaming pecs, washboard abs and a tushy carved out of concrete and most of all we want to see you dance Dammit…so learn the friggin‘ routines Dummy…CAPICE??

Laugh, but at least they could dance….











I had much more fun admiring the Hottie McHotHots in “The Avengers” for the 2nd time with my Hubs the other night even though it was literally hot in the the theater and I was sweating like a whore in church….

So we’re off to see the Kiddo’s at the butt crack of dawn Friday morning, and I have no doubt I’ll end up buying a toothbrush or underwear or something when I get there…no matter how many lists I make I still end up forgetting something because I forgot to put it on a dang list….

See y’all when I get home in August!



6 thoughts on “I need a vacation from retirement…

  1. OMG Woman!!!!

    You kinda over think things for your trip. I never pack till the night before I go on a trip and it seems I remember everything when its a last minute job. As for shopping for shorts, I had Lee sit down in front of the computer and order 4 or 5 pairs of shorts from Amazon and he got them in 2 days since I hate shopping and so does he.

    Have a good time in Seattle.

  2. I like to leave the house clean too. I think it’s so I can walk back into a clean house after being away. If I came home to dirty dishes or waiting laundry I’d feel like I had to do something about it. I’m lucky too in that I can put out what I want to take and leave the packing itself to Hubs; that man is a genius at packing whether it’s suitcases or moving vans!

    Yay! Five days till I see you! Woo hoo!

  3. Oh what fun! Not all the shopping, that stuff just sucks. V-A-C-A-T-I-O-N and Bubbe! Give her a hug from me!

    I clean my house before I go on vacation too. We’re all a bit weird, no wonder we get along so well!

    Have a super duper fantabulous time!! Can’t wait to hear all about it!

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