Thank you Easter Bunny, Bwak Bwak…

Dear Easter Bunny,

I’m a fan of your holiday, I like everything about it…

Hi. I like your ears...

Because of you, children all over the world get a new outfit which the little girls are mostly happy with, and the little boys mostly despise. They look precious in them, so who cares if they’re uncomfortable, itchy, the new shoes rub blisters and the whole ensemble causes Mothers all over the world to chant in unison “Don’t get dirty!” …The little cherubs are cute, that’s all that matters.

I enjoy your traditional celebration food; the deviled eggs, the jelly bean eggs, the Cadbury eggs, the malted milk ball eggs, the chocolate eggs, the Reese’s peanut butter eggs, the entire line of Russell Stover creme filled eggs, the egg shaped carrot cakes. Ironically, the icon fashioned in your likeness is my least favorite, go figure. If we have some turkey or ham that’s OK too….

This is not flattering. You appear to be taking a dump...and I don't need to think about where those Cadbury eggs come from OK??

Following your holiday protocol, I dye the requisite hard boiled eggs. I never fail to plunk an egg into the dye filled coffee cup with more exuberance than necessary at least once, resulting in a stain on my kitchen counter for a few months. I’m OK with this…I also don’t mind having blue fingertips for a day or two because I don’t like to use that little wire egg dipping apparatus provided in the kits. It’s dumb, get some of your minions to re-think that design would ya? Thanks….

Easter Bunny on crack...or too much candy. Whatever...

Your holiday is much more enjoyable to me now that I’ve completely removed the religious aspect of it, haven’t been to an Easter Sunday church service in decades. I’m being totally honest here when I tell you that all those imagines of Christ’s bleeding wounds freaked me the hell out as a kid….gave me nightmares. So skipping right on over that part is my adult prerogative…It’s good to be a grown-up…

For years now, our family celebrates Easter with a picnic, and of course an egg hunt. It’s a tradition that makes me happy. And since we’re picnicking in a public place, it matters not to me if every single egg gets found. The one that inevitably gets hidden so well that no one can remember where it is and ends up rotten and stinking in a month is not my problem…the little animals can take care of it, that smell is ambrosia to them so it’s a win-win for everybody…

Seriously, you need to sue this guy, he's ruining your EW. Just EWWW.

Even though Peanut is too little to hunt eggs this year, she still has a rockin’ Easter basket,  I’m sure she’ll enjoy trying to eat it….I hope it’s slobber-proof. If not, oh well….

Why is she holding you there???? I'm scared....

In closing, my furry friend, I just want to Thank You for providing me with yet another completely superficial holiday fueled by commercialism as well as a legit excuse to eat candy by the truckload.

You rock! 



PS…there are some pretty sketchy pictures of you out there, you should get your PR people on that…you’re welcome…


6 thoughts on “Thank you Easter Bunny, Bwak Bwak…

  1. You’re gonna think I’m nuts now (and you’d probably be right, but we won’t get into that now), but I really really LOVE the picture of old dude as Easta Bunny. Can I borrow it? Permanently?

  2. Oh I LOVE the bunny with the floppy ears! Sooo cute and cuddly.

    I love Easter too. Not for the religious aspect. I’m a heathen, not really, well I am, but a good one. Anyway, I love hard-boiled eggs and candy. Yum.

    I still make Easter baskets for my boys. They are 19 and almost 15. I still hide their baskets and the eggs! I’ll do it FOREVER! Well, maybe not hide them, but for sure give them baskets. And when I’m a “grammy” I’m getting my little grandkids baskets too! It’s just too much fun. I can tell from YOU!

    Take pics of Avery’s basket, slobbers and all!

    Hopefully the Easter Bunny will listen to your advice on a PR person. Some of those pics are just wrong.

    The crazy old guy Easter Bunny cracks me up. I guess I’m a weirdo like Jo 😉

    • You and Jo are kindred spirits….Hell, maybe I’m the weird one cuz I’m fairly certain I’m going to have nightmares about that geezers nose.

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