You’ve got to be effin’ kidding me…

Who the hell would steal an artifact from a church?? Not a gold, jewel encrusted artifact but a petrified human organ artifact?? And why???


It happened, in Dublin. The preserved heart of St. Laurence O’Toole, patron saint of Dublin   that had been displayed in Christ Church Cathedral since the 13th century. The 13th effin’ century….

I read about it on (duh) and I just couldn’t stop thinking about it. First off, to steal from a church is like asking to be struck by lightning in my opinion. And second, a antique dried up old piece of a person?? Sick.

Seriously, sick.

What could possibly be the motivation here? Is there a market for ancient preserved hearts? And what would you have to do to authenticate such a thing to prove to a prospective buyer that it is, truly what you claim it in and not a sun-dried tomato??

I don’t get it.

I love antiques with a passion but I damn sure don’t want some old farts heart on display on my sideboard, and if I did I would want it to be someone famous like Achilles or Plato or The Sundance Kid or something. I’m just saying…

Was it just done to prove it could be done? A cult initiation perhaps? A fraternity prank? Who knows. All I know is that asshat has garnered some serious hella bad karma for themselves…

How are they going to get it out of the country is my next question? Customs confiscated the prosciutto and sopressata  I was bringing Hubs back from Sicily, I doubt they’d let dried cardiac muscle pass through even if you tried to pass it off as beef jerky. (And for the record, those little customs Bastards will never convince me they didn’t have a helluva lunch at my expense. Jackasses….)

I really wish I was making this up because it disturbs me on many levels. But I ain’t. I do not want to be this dummy when all those uber religious Irish Momma’s get ahold of him…

Sun dried tomato or Cardiovascular system? You be the judge...

Pretty huh? Don’t you want to display this in your home??

Ick. Also…blech.

Have a nice day now. Sorry for the mental images you’ll be stuck with the rest of the day!

*Muhwa ha ha!*



6 thoughts on “You’ve got to be effin’ kidding me…

  1. “Achilles or Plato or The Sundance Kid ” – Hahahahahahahaha! Priceless. I read Steve Berry’s novels and they’re about this kind of thing (historical artifacts; theft). He sometimes incorporates fanatics in his story lines who want an artifact just because it’s an artifact. And they may even believe it has special powers to heal or something.

    Hey, it’s as good an explanation as any I guess. But you’re right, it’s still SICK!

  2. Ew…yuck…gag…gross…did I say EW?

    Okay, I’m officially at a loss for words.

    Yes, Karma is a bitch, that’s why I’m nice, I don’t want her biting me in my ass.

  3. I read about this one too in the Irish news websites. I couldn’t believe my eyes. My reaction was just like yours. What a sick thing to do! Who knows what the culprits think they are going to do with it! The world is full of crazy people and Ireland has got plenty of them.

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