I got shenked. But not shanked.

My friend Pamela shenked my ass.

It’s another blog chain thing. this time I’m supposed to post 11 top secret things about my self, which I’m not sure I can do as I already wrote a whole post and spilled out all my guts but I’ll give it a shot. Then I’m supposed to answer 11 questions that Pam compliled, then I’m supposed to come up with 11 questions for 11 other bloggers to answer. ‘Cept I’m not doing it that way….cuz I don’t wanna!

Let’s start with Pam’s queries:

1. What is your astrological sign? Cancer
2. What state do you live in? Would you rather live in a different state? South Dakota, aka South Dizzle. And no, I don’t want to live anywhere else, love it here!
3. What is YOUR favorite automobile? 1964 1/2 Mustang. Period.
4. What would you do if your blog became VERY popular? SCREAM. And then quit my job because in my head, popular blog = wildly financially successful blog = a book deal = NY Times bestseller = move-the-hell-over-ms-evanovich-here-I-come…. 
5. What’s the first thing you notice when you meet someone? Their smile, more specifically their teeth. Probably ‘cuz mine are crooked and I’m self conscientious about it. 
6. Do you think Americans are over-medicated now-a-days? My motto is “bring on the drugs”, I’m not a fan of suffering when I can prevent it.
7. What was the best piece of advice you ever received? Never drink vanilla straight out of the bottle. 
8. What is your dream job? In MY dream there is NO job. 
9. Who is your favorite actor/actress? Diane Keaton
10. What is your favorite movie? It’s A Wonderful Life. Shut up!
11. What type of books do you like to read? Anything but self-help books or Harlequin type romances. 

Hmmmm….11 personal things about myself….seems a bit redundant as I just answered 11 highly personal questions on that very subject but in the spirit of being a good sport I’ll do it. You’ll know I got nuthin’ left when they start getting really stupid, like telling my favorite KoolAid flavor….

1.  I was born with a mole aka beauty mark on my upper lip. When I was 7 my Mom decided to have it removed as she was afraid it would get freakishly big and witch-like with hairs sprouting from it. It came back and brought 5 of it’s friends, giving me a little circle of moles on my lip. All of them hairless, Thanks Mom. 

2. I’m a coffee snob. I prefer freshly ground beans and brewed in a french press with half and half, no sugar. Powdered creamer is the work of Satan. *shudder*  In a perfect world it would be served to me whilst sitting in a charming little piazza in Sicily…I still mourn the death of my beloved espresso machine.

3. Speaking of Beloved, I met the Hubs over the phone. And I’m 12 years older than him…

4. I like kittens, but not so much cats.

5. I once spent an entire afternoon with cow manure drying on my face. On purpose. 

6. I’m not afraid of heights, I’m afraid of falling from high places. There’s a difference…

7. I flew an airplane when I was 4.

8. I watched an airplane crash in my field when I was 10.

9. My Dad was a professional pilot.

10. I can tell you the history of almost every antique canning jar known to exist, as long as you give me time to look it up in one of the reference books my Mom wrote.

11. Green. I like the green KoolAid. Green is also my favorite popsicle flavor.

And now 11 questions for y’all to answer, as all the bloggers I would tag in this chain have already been tagged. Copy/Paste them and your answers in a comment…

Mwah. Ha. Ha….

  • 1. What is your favorite KoolAid flavor and why?
  • 2. Have you ever had a fart escape against your will in public? How do you handle it?
  • 3. Which of the 4  Stooges do you most closely resemble?
  • 4. Boob Jobs…For or Against?
  • 5. Dogs or Cats?
  • 6. What quality must anyone trying to be your BFF possess?
  • 7. What’s your favorite thing about me? (Lie if you have to dammit, I need an ego boost)
  • 8. Name the most random place you’ve…ya know…..kanoodled.
  • 9. You’ve dialed the wrong number. Do you hang up, or apologize?
  • 10. Mushrooms. Yum or Yuck?
  • 11. If money were no object, where would you go to vacation?

GO!

🙂

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6 thoughts on “I got shenked. But not shanked.

  1. I love your answers! We’re in total agreement on powdered creamer (yuck!) and I met my Hubs on the phone too! How wild is that?

    Ahem, so here are my answers:

    1. What is your favorite KoolAid flavor and why? I don’t drink KoolAid any more cuz all my kiddies are grown. When we did have KoolAid in the house I liked grape. It’s the flavor closest to wine!

    2. Have you ever had a fart escape against your will in public? How do you handle it? Unfortunately yes. Thankfully I was in a crowd so I just pretended it wasn’t me.

    3. Which of the 4 Stooges do you most closely resemble? Larry of the curly hair 🙂

    4. Boob Jobs…For or Against? I presume you mean boob enlargement. I’m against that for me, but I’m a damn D cup, and I gave some consideration to a reduction once, though it didn’t get past the research phase.

    5. Dogs or Cats? I have both. If I had to choose one I’d say dog though; they’re so loyal and loving.

    6. What quality must anyone trying to be your BFF possess? Honesty, and the ability to keep their mouth shut when I share something that’s for their ears only.

    7. What’s your favorite thing about me? (Lie if you have to dammit, I need an ego boost) I love your wit! And how you can turn something negative (broken furnace at work) into something funny for your blog. I know it wasn’t funny going through it but you turned the situation into a positive and made people laugh. That’s a fabulous quality!

    8. Name the most random place you’ve…ya know…..kanoodled. Um…the front seat of a tow truck. I was a lot younger, stupider and definitely more flexible!

    9. You’ve dialed the wrong number. Do you hang up, or apologize? Apologize.

    10. Mushrooms. Yum or Yuck? Yummy!

    11. If money were no object, where would you go to vacation? Tough one. There’s so much of OUR country I haven’t seen but I would love to see Italy. Yeah, I’m going with Italy … or Ireland. One of those. Or Alaska. Sigh.

  2. Grammy, thanks for playing, even though you don’t like MY favorite books!

    I love YOUR questions! I had a hard time coming up with what I thought were good ones. And Bubbe’s answers are great. I really enjoy reading and learning about everyone!

  3. 1. What is your favorite KoolAid flavor and why? Cherry. Because it tastes good. And it’s pretty. And it’s real fun when you snort it out your nose if you laugh real hard. Except for the time my son spilled it all over the rug, then I didn’t like cherry so much.
    2. Have you ever had a fart escape against your will in public? How do you handle it? NO WAY.
    Yeah, okay, every now and again, and I walk away from the thing because if it leaves a cloud I don’ wanna be standing anywhere near it.
    3. Which of the 4 Stooges do you most closely resemble? Um….if you were to mash all their faces together, that might come close.
    4. Boob Jobs…For or Against? FOR, because I WANTS a reduction.
    5. Dogs or Cats? Dogs. But like you, I ADORE kittens….I just don’t like it so much when they grow up. I’m still waiting for someone to invent a permanent kitten. I will perform horrid sex acts to get one, if absolutely necessary.
    6. What quality must anyone trying to be your BFF possess? A good sense of silliness. It’s a MUST HAVE. But, breathing is good, too.
    7. What’s your favorite thing about me? TRUTH: I love your heart, your wit, and your writing. And your soul. And your Avery. And that you make cupcakes and cookies. And you’re a lot of fun. And you make me laugh, especially when I picture you in a dog bowl. I laugh even harder picturing BOTH of us in dog food bowls carrying stew pots. (And NO, that’s not marijuana in mine, why do you ask?)
    8. Name the most random place you’ve…ya know…..kanoodled. I NEVER. Wait, yes I did. It was back in the age of the dinosaur, and it was at night outside at the playground. Because I was a whore. And a slut. Oh…and stoopit. I don’t recall any dinosaurs watching, though, which is probably a good thing. Can you picture them with their heads every which-a-way tryin’ to figure out what the hayul those weirdos are doin’? Or secretly laughing, it could go either way.
    9. You’ve dialed the wrong number. Do you hang up, or apologize? I always apologize.
    10. Mushrooms. Yum or Yuck? YUCKYUCKYUCK. (Perhaps you cannot tell, but I do not like them. I do not like mushyrooms, Sam-I-Am.)
    11. If money were no object, where would you go to vacation? Italy. Yep, Italy. Or….Italy.

    Heart you muchly, Grammie!

    • I breathe. And I possess much silliness….nuff said! Perpetual kittens…that’s just genius my friend. Also, when we go to Italy on vacation I promise to let you know when something on the menu has mushrooms in it, unless you read Italian and then never mind! Heart YOU!

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