Issues?? What issues????

I have issues. You’re shocked right?? ‘Cuz I seem so well adjusted…..

Right??

So when I’m done baring my soul here, y’all are gonna reciprocate OK? You can’t leave me hanging….

My list of weird, bizarre and probably not uncommon issues. (I tell myself they’re not uncommon to make myself feel less weird)

1. I hate the thought of someone hearing me poop. If I absolutely must poop in public, I will flush repeatedly if someone else is in the next stall. Even at home I turn the exhaust fan on to muffle the pooping sound.

2.  I can’t stand that God Awful phlegmy noise that’s made when someone is hawking up a lougie…makes me cringe.

3. I cannot sleep on an unmade bed. If the sheets are all wadded up and wrinkly it makes me nuts.

4.  I will get the most ridiculous case of vertigo while standing on a foot bridge only 2 feet off the ground.

5.  I’m scared of old people. They creep me out a little and make me nervous….and yes I am aware I will be one in a few short years. I never said anything on this list made sense….

6.  I’m shy. I cover this with sarcasm and jokes when I have to meet new people.

7.  I’m terrified of birds. Any birds….

I don't see the difference....

8.  I shave my legs every other day  for my Aqua Zumba classes, but rarely remember to shave under my arms…

9.  If I can manage to never change out of pajamas for the entire weekend I am a happy woman.

10. I dream of being a hermit…

11. The older I get the less Christmas spirit I have….

12. I rarely eat vegetables….it’s not that I don’t like them I just forget about them.

13. I love any kind of pasta sauce containing tomatoes. Love sun dried tomatoes, fried green tomatoes. However, You couldn’t pay me to eat a raw tomato….

14. In my head I’m a fabulous singer and dancer. I got skilz….not so much in person but it doesn’t stop me from serenading you in my car or shaking my money maker on a dance floor….go figure.

Yep, this is how I roll....

15. I have a skewed perception of my size. I see other people my size and think they’re fat. I look in the mirror and don’t see my own fat….makes it hard to be motivated to stop eating junk food. It’s like anorexia in reverse.

16.  I’m a compulsive shopper. Then I feel guilty for spending the money and take the shit back….I do this frequently.

17.  I was once arrested for shoplifting. In my 20’s….not my proudest moment.

18. If I find a stray pin feather on a piece of raw chicken that I’m prepping to cook I throw the whole piece away. That feather creeps me the hell out….I think it’s because of #7.

19. If I spot someone I know at the store, even if they are in the isle I need stuff from I will avoid that isle like the plague. I’m becoming anti-social…

20.  Sometimes I forget stuff. Stuff like what I’m supposed to do at a traffic  light Or a one-way street…

OK, your turn!

🙂

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16 thoughts on “Issues?? What issues????

  1. Omg we have to be related.

    I can not poo when others are around or when we are on trips or staying at someone else house. It just stresses me out and Lee gives me so much crap for not pooing at another place but home;-)

    I dont like raw tomatoes but i can eat them cooked.

    I know I cant dance so i sit back and make fun of others trying to dance.

    I dont mind shopping for stuff but I can not spend money on me on things that I know I need. I stress out and then Lee yells at me and I buy it but feel bad for getting myself stuff.

    I am sure I have other things but since I am so damn sleepy on its only Monday all I want to do is go home and go to sleep.

  2. Wow, without power for four days and look at everything I’ve missed! So glad you got the heating resolved and that you’re still employed! As for issues…my favorite saying is, “Some people have issues. I have a subscription.”
    🙂

  3. I cannot stand the feel of sheets, so I sleep on top of my comforter under a blanket. I’ve done this for more years than I can count.

    If a food is ugly, I cannot eat it.

    I love kittens, but grow bored with them when they’re older. I still like them, but they don’t hold me in thrall like small kittens do.

    As I’ve gotten older, I just don’t care what I look like to other people anymore. I wear very little makeup, and have gone out in shorts with my legs not shaved because it serves people right to see what they see if they look at my legs. They aren’t good legs, why you lookin’?

    I’m already a hermit, and I really like it. (I duck into other aisles when I see people I know in the store) I hardly EVER answer the phone. I hate meeting new people, and I hate crowds (more than three people is a crowd to me).

    I’m sure there’s more, but my brain is starting to overheat.

    • Don’t overheat!! Ok, you win on the weird sleeping thing….I only wear makeup these days for special occasions and frequently run to the store in my pj’s. Being hermitty is why you’ll make such a great roommate!

  4. Grammy, I can NOT poo in public places either! And if I HAVE to, I will flush, flush, flush! I thought I was the only one who did this!

    I have to have my sheets and blankets all fixed before I get into bed too! Whereas my kids like them all messy. What’s wrong with them? I should have them checked to see if their even mine!

    I shave my armpits every day but will skip my legs if I’m in a hurry.

    I think I was Italian in a former life…I LOVE LOVE LOVE pasta of any kind! And the sauce.

    I have issues, although I say I’m unique. 😉

  5. I thought of more things that make me weird.

    I can not eat a banana with brown spots on them. I start to throw up at the thought of eatting it. I also can not eat carrots that are yellow in color they have to be orange.

    Chips and nuts I have to eat all the broken ones first and then i eat the normal ones last.

    Ok I need meds now or a stiff drink.

  6. My wife gave birth a child last month. It was Cesarean. She got urinary tract infection immediately. She was taking antibiotic for a week as suggested by doctor. Now after 2 weeks, she got sever cold and fever. Went to doctor and she was asked to continue with antibiotics another 2 weeks. She is feeding the baby and doctor told there will not be any problem even if she takes antibiotics when feeding the child. So, has anyone faced similar issues?. Is there anything to panic?

    • Oooh, I’m pretty sure none of us are qualified to give medical advice other than telling you to seek a second opinion if you’re not satisfied with her current Doctor. Best of Luck to your family, and Congratulations of the birth of your baby…

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