My blogger friend Jo posted her bucket list, which she then changed to her fucket list, an idea she got from someone else! Ain’t plagiarism great??
I adore this idea so I’m running with it, it’s the perfect opportunity for me to spout off about a bunch of stuff that bugs the crap out of me. I think everyone should make one! Here’s mine:
Grammy’s Effin’ Fucket List
1. Skinny women who eat 2 bites off their plate and then push it away proclaiming “I’m stuffed”. Shut up and come here, I’ll eat YOU!
2. Inside people using outside voices. I clearly risk being redundant here, but shut up, I’m not deaf or at least wasn’t until I met you.
3. People who ask for your opinion and then get pissy about said opinion. If you’re not prepared to hear it, don’t friggin ask!
4. Stupid cold medicine packages that are so hard to open you risk having your cold morph into the plague and killing you before you get the effin’ package open! Grrrr….
5. Dumbasses who can’t wait to pass you, just so they can turn 50 yards ahead of you. Cuz that extra millisecond you gained really made all the difference in how late you are right??
6. People who pitch a fit about something you did and then an hour later do the same damn thing.
7. People who expect me to do things they’re not willing to do themselves…
8. People who salt the food before they even taste it….Have a little faith, do I look like I can’t cook???
9. Showing up at my house unannounced. You’re just asking to see me in my t-shirt and yoga pants sans bra…If you go blind it’s your own damn fault.
10. The women who walk naked around the locker room at the Y. I don’t care if you’re built like a super model or a barrel. I don’t want to see all your girly parts. If you’re skinny you just make me stabbity and if you’re fat like me it just makes my eyes hurt. Why do I have to respect your right to flaunt your stuff when you don’t respect my right to some modesty??
11. People who won’t leave me the hell alone when I’m trying to eat my lunch at the office. I’m not at my desk, I’m clearly not working. Give me one stinking hour to myself dammit! I’m cheap, I brownbag it and you are the reason I eat in my car when the weather is nice…..
12. Produce that goes bad 2 days after you buy it. I’m trying to eat all healthy and shit over here, work with me….I don’t have time to go to the grocery store every day.
13. Being forced to endure the company of my friend’s mutual aquaintances who I truly can’t stand. If you like them, fine, but don’t invite me over too when you know how I feel….it’s uncomfortable for everyone. I’m not that good an actress…..
14. People who are rigidly closed-minded….
15. The irresponsible. Financially, morally, socially….
16. People who think I’m lazy because I’m overweight. Or vice versa…
17. People with no respect for my stuff. It might not be the greatest stuff, but it’s mine and I worked hard for it. Please treat it accordingly….
18. Harpy people. Repeating your opinion ad nauseum doesn’t make you right or more interesting. Repeating your opinion ad nauseum doesn’t make you right or more interesting. Repeating your opinion ad nauseum doesn’t make you right or more interesting. See?? Annoying…..
19. Bullies. They suck…
20. Women who think being with any loser of a man is better than being happily, independently alone. You were born with a backbone, right? Use it…
21. Judging others in a negative way based solely on their looks. Take some time, get to know what kind of person they are, then you’ll have a legit reason to dislike them!
What’s on your fucket list??