It’s a friggin miracle y’all…

I have nothing snarky to say today! It’s like, wtf is up with that?? ‘Course it is only 6:30 in the morning so it’s entirely possible my snark will develop as the day progresses….

Yesterday Hubs and I, being the responsible pet owners we are, took the mutts to the Groomers. OK, it’s not so much that we’re responsible as lazy. Do you have any idea how much time it takes to brush out a Golden Retriever?? The birthing process takes less time….plus bending over the tub to scrub both dogs is not my idea of a good time, although in their whole lives this is only the second time we’ve taken them somewhere to have it done. Mostly cuz I’m cheap, aka broke….but that’s not the only reason…

Our dogs are spastic. That’s a fact. Because the reality is we’ve loved them and spoiled them and let them do pretty much whatever they’ve wanted their entire lives and never really took the time to work on that whole obedience training thing. So you put them on a leash and they promptly run around you in opposite directions effectively hog tieing you. And in the car they behave like two year olds on crack….have you ever heard a Pug breath when they get excited?? Darth Vader on crack. Which explains why we don’t take road trips with them….

Where we going Mom??? Huh? Huh? Huh???

 The only other time we’ve tried having them professionally groomed was a complete joke. The folks at PetSmart pronounced the Golden “vicious”. Because apparently he vehemently protested being shoved into a kennel.  (again, we’re not so much with the training thing). But now we’ve found a place that actually listens to the pet owners and gives a crap about the dogs and put our beloved pain in the arse in a room as opposed to a kennel. Thank you “The Brass Hydrant”!

Can we get out now???? We want to hog tie you and watch you fall down, cuz that's fun for us....


 Now they smell better, they feel all nice and soft and loose hair doesn’t fly up your nose when you pet them. Yay!

Because that wasn’t eventful enough for one day, I also decided I’m Martha effin’ Stewart and that crocheting a tiny little stuffed animal menagerie was totally doable….I ripped out the first round about 74 times before I finally figured it out. Go me….

See? Piece of cake, I have an hour to kill....


I’m completely confident I’ll have them finished by the time Avery graduates from college….

This looks like an elephant right??? 6 hours and this is what I have to friggin' show for it.....ugh.

 Enjoy your day! I’ll be here, crochet hook in hand, going blind and cheerfully losing my mind.



12 thoughts on “It’s a friggin miracle y’all…

  1. Uh….yeah, that looks like an elephant! It sure does….

    So, is my room ready yet? Because I have the fuzzy socks. And your dogs are adorable and that is exactly how I treated mine, he was a person instead of a dog for the most part, and so I think I need to live with you.

    That made sense, right? (Okay, so I drank Nyquil last night…but it worked!)

  2. Are you sure your crocheting? Your elephant’s stitch looks more like knitting to me. That might be your problem. You only use one hook for crochet, not two needles! Good luck with finishing the elephant. Looks good so far.

  3. Boy do I have a business opportunity for you! When we lived on the farm we had a mobile groomer! She drove her van to our place and groomed our four-legged ones on the spot. It was a long time ago so I don’t recall how pricey it was but it was sooooo convenient it was worth it!

  4. Grammy,! Your dogs are adorable! I love Pugs. Those smashed in faces crack me up! I have a Boxer and a German Shepherd mix (and we’re getting a puppy Norwegian Elkhound–did I tell you I was crazy?). My dogs are well-behaved though because I’m totally anal and spend an enormous amount of time training.

    So glad you found a groomer who LISTENS to your dogs’ needs. My girlfriend has one of those portable grooming businesses. Too bad we’re in PA.

    LOVE your elephant! I’m sure you’ll have it done way before Avery graduates college! Probably kindergarten, at least! 😉

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