Yahoo.com is a great place to find weird shit. I’m just sayin’….
As I’ve been home from work the last 2 days, lying in a prone position on ice packs because my back decided it hates me and has clearly been possessed by Satan, OR, I’ve swallowed an alien and it’s trying to claw its way out through my spine. Either way, I’ve thoughtfully compiled a list of my fav random articles for you….
Even in a crazy state of pain, I’m still thinking of my peeps….Geesh I’ma friggin’ Saint I tell ya…..🙂
Top 10 Crazy, Stupid, Tasty, or Otherwise Interestingly Random Stuff I Read Today That Aren’t Just Interesting Because I’m on Painkillers.
1. Car that folds up like a Stroller. How convenient is this? I mean, even if you have to pay the $30 bucks for checking it at the airport, it’s still cheaper than renting a car when you get where you’re going, right?? Plus, you fold it up and take it in the mall with you and you’ll never again have to suffer the embarrassment of having to wander the parking lot looking for your car ‘cuz you can’t effin’ remember where you parked it. Genius…
2. Cool places to visit at night. This list will come in handy after the Zombie Apocolypse when the sun has burned out plunging the world into eternal darkness. Still gonna have pretty vacation destinations. Thoughtful, right??
3. OH. MY. GOD. SOMEONE. COOK. THIS. FOR. ME. RIGHT. NOW. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE me some braised short ribs. And coffee. This is both and I want it in my face like right now. At 7:15 in the morning. And then later, for lunch. Mmmmmmm…..
4. This is why you NEVER tattoo someone’s name on your body. Unless it’s your kid’s name. Or “Mom”. Otherwise, like these celebs, you’re just gonna have to find a way to turn the name “Dominic” into a dragonfly. Or a very large hibiscus. Or a flying monkey….
5.Want to know the best tasting supermarket orange juice? The folks at Bon Appetit tasted all the icky ones, ruled them out and then made you a list of the yummy ones. Such givers….P.S. The Hubs favorite didn’t make the list. Go figure….
6. A peak inside celebrity kitchens. All I have to say about this is A) it reaffirms my statement that money does not buy taste in some cases and B) I want Gerard Butler even more now….
7. The Science of Microexpressions. I had no idea what the heck a microexpression was. Turns out it’s those split second facial tics that reveal how a person really feels. So, if you learn to correctly interpret those tics, you’ll know right away if your blind date Aunt Josephine tricked you into going out with is a serial killer. Or just wants to get close to you so he can sneak into your closet and sniff your shoes. A handy skill to have….
8. Home pet remedies gone wrong. This was actually pretty helpful as I had heard of some of these and had never tried them only because my dogs never needed them. However, they were stored in the back of my beady little noggin for future reference….The article also lists human foods that are bad for pets. Good article for doggie lovers….
9. 7 easy ways to mess up retirement. As I plan to retire sometime in the next few years, this headline definitely caught my eye. In a nutshell, it told me everything I’m doing toward preparing for my impending retirement is wrong…..FINE, so in order to do the traveling I dream of I’m gonna have to eat Ramen noodles and generic cat food. FINE. I’m doing too little too late. FINE. I effin’ refuse to work until I’m 70. R.E.F.U.S.E…..
10. And this just proves Yahoo is a cruel, heartless bunch of bastards. Why? Because right after I read how I’ve already screwed up my dreams of traveling the world during a blissful retirement, the very next article I read was “America’s Best Brunch Locations”….that I won’t be able to travel to. Because I’ll be poor. And I love brunch. It’s my favorite meal…..That’s just mean, Yahoo, just plain mean.
Now I’m depressed and in pain. I. IS. PITIFUL….
Plus, I’m bored, tired of sitting with this stupid ice pack, sick of dumb daytime TV and just generally cranky.