Things that made me go Hmmmm and WTF?? Even without the drugs….

Yahoo.com is a great place to find weird shit. I’m just sayin’….

As I’ve been home from work the last 2 days, lying in a prone position on ice packs because my back decided it hates me and has clearly been possessed by Satan, OR, I’ve swallowed an alien and it’s trying to claw its way out through my spine. Either way, I’ve thoughtfully compiled a list of my fav random articles for you….

Even in a crazy state of pain, I’m still thinking of my peeps….Geesh I’ma friggin’ Saint I tell ya…..🙂

Top 10 Crazy, Stupid, Tasty, or Otherwise Interestingly Random Stuff I Read Today That Aren’t Just Interesting Because I’m on Painkillers. 

1. Car that folds up like a Stroller. How convenient is this? I mean, even if you have to pay the $30 bucks for checking it at the airport, it’s still cheaper than renting a car when you get where you’re going, right?? Plus, you fold it up and take it in the mall with you and you’ll never again have to suffer the embarrassment of having to wander the parking lot looking for your car ‘cuz you can’t effin’ remember where you parked it. Genius…

How friggin' cute is this??? I have purses this would fit in!

2. Cool places to visit at night. This list will come in handy after the Zombie Apocolypse when the sun has burned out plunging the world into eternal darkness. Still gonna have pretty vacation destinations. Thoughtful, right?? 

3. OH. MY. GOD. SOMEONE. COOK. THIS. FOR. ME. RIGHT. NOW. Anyone who knows me knows I LOVE me some braised short ribs. And coffee. This is both and I want it in my face like right now. At 7:15 in the morning. And then later, for lunch. Mmmmmmm…..

4. This is why you NEVER tattoo someone’s name on your body. Unless it’s your kid’s name. Or “Mom”. Otherwise, like these celebs, you’re just gonna have to find a way to turn the name “Dominic” into a dragonfly. Or a very large hibiscus. Or a flying monkey….

5.Want to know the best tasting supermarket orange juice? The folks at Bon Appetit tasted all the icky ones, ruled them out and then made you a list of the yummy ones. Such givers….P.S. The Hubs favorite didn’t make the list. Go figure….

6. A peak inside celebrity kitchens. All I have to say about this is A) it reaffirms my statement that money does not buy taste in some cases and B) I want Gerard Butler even more now….

*Drool*...I die....

7. The Science of Microexpressions. I had no idea what the heck a microexpression was. Turns out it’s those split second facial tics that reveal how a person really feels. So, if you learn to correctly interpret those tics, you’ll know right away if your blind date Aunt Josephine tricked you into going out with is a serial killer. Or just wants to get close to you so he can sneak into your closet and sniff your shoes. A handy skill to have….

8. Home pet remedies gone wrong. This was actually pretty helpful as I had heard of some of these and had never tried them only because my dogs never needed them. However, they were stored in the back of my beady little noggin for future reference….The article also lists human foods that are bad for pets. Good article for doggie lovers….

9. 7 easy ways to mess up retirement. As I plan to retire sometime in the next few years, this headline definitely caught my eye. In a nutshell, it told me everything I’m doing toward preparing for my impending retirement is wrong…..FINE, so in order to do the traveling I dream of I’m gonna have to eat Ramen noodles and generic cat food. FINE.  I’m doing too little too late. FINE. I effin’ refuse to work until I’m 70. R.E.F.U.S.E…..

10. And this just proves Yahoo is a cruel, heartless bunch of bastards. Why? Because right after I read how I’ve already screwed up my dreams of traveling the world during a blissful retirement, the very next article I read was “America’s Best Brunch Locations”….that I won’t be able to travel to. Because I’ll be poor. And I love brunch. It’s my favorite meal…..That’s just mean, Yahoo, just plain mean. 

Now I’m depressed and in pain. I. IS. PITIFUL….

Plus, I’m bored, tired of sitting with this stupid ice pack, sick of dumb daytime TV and just  generally cranky.

😦

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When perfectly good money goes bad….

Let me just state for the record I do not make a habit of reading sports related stories in the news. I don’t seek them out, but I do like to peruse the titillating titles scrolling across the yahoo page after I check my email. That’s how this article about a former NFL player whom we all loved to despise caught my attention. The synopsis read “Terrell Owens nearly broke”. My befuddled brain screamed “Seriously?? WTF???” 

How does a person who earned upwards of 80 million dollars in a few short years go broke??? Which of course made me want to see how many other rich assholes squandered their millions and ended up poor like the rest of us….

So I googled it….

🙂

Turns out it’s more common than you might think…except in the case of Billionaires, they just plummet from having Billions down to mere Millions. Poor babies….however do they survive??? Also turns out most of them file bankruptcy only to protect their assets so they’re only broke on paper. I interpret that as they live in a multimillion dollar estate but are forced to drive a Chevy. Heartbreaking, ain’t it?? 

I did find several articles listing newly made Millionaires who got rich by winning the lottery, and had no clue how to handle all that money. They say money doesn’t buy happiness but honestly I think it made these dummies so deliriously happy that they lost their damn minds and went broke buying things like solid gold life sized statues of Elvis or some other such garbage. What money can’t buy is class, or brains….

We’ve already discussed what I would hypothetically do or not do if I won the lotto. Mostly I would  A) find a good financial advisor, B) hire a good accountant and C) plan accordingly so as to live out the remainder of my life in comfort, and ensure the comfort of my children’s lives.

If I win the lotto and end up broke 5 years later, I give you all permission to whoop my ass. I would totally do the same for any of you….

‘Cuz I’m a giver….

🙂

Some days you just need a wubby…

Like Linus with his blanket….

Avery has her passy….

Chef Vivi had her Billy-Bear….

There should be some similar token of comfort and security for adults, don’t you think? I could drag my PillowPet around with me  (Yes, I have one. Yes, it’s my friend. Wha??) but let’s face it, people would poke fun at me and then I’d have to retaliate by poking them back, with my pencil. In a stabbity manner. No good can come from that. 

I definitely have days when I would gladly spend it curled up in a ball with a security blanket if I could. You know the ones….

You know it’s a wubby day when:

1. You get to work and discover everyone is in a pissy mood. You’re going to need your wubby. Or a club…

2. You decide to treat yourself to carry-out for dinner, only to find out after you get home that half of what you ordered never made it into the bag. A wubby to hold onto would be nice. Or a gun….

3. You decide to finally try that homemade pretzel recipe you’ve been promising your Hubs, you follow all the steps to the frikkin letter, they come out of the oven all beautifully golden brown and perfect. Then you bite into one and discover that they taste like baking soda because the recipe is flawed and told you to use 3 times the baking soda in the water bath than you’re supposed to. Definitely need a wubby. To strangle the recipe author with….

4. Dispite how carefully you try to protect it, a family heirloom gets broken and you get that sinking feeling in the pit of your stomach because you know that’s a piece of history that can never be replaced. A wubby is most certainly needed. And tissues….

5. You realize that it’s going to be a shit sandwich of a day through no fault of your own and there’s absolutely nothing you can do to prevent it. Grab your wubby, and a bottle of wine…

PERSPECTIVE. NOW YOU HAVE IT....

Chin up, this guys day is probably worse….unless he always dreamed of singing falsetto…

🙂

TMI, how much is too much??

How much personal detail about your life do you post on Facebook?

Listening to the radio on my way into work this morning the DJ’s were talking about this article suggesting that FB users believe their FB friends have happier, more interesting lives than they do.

Oh geesh….Really??? Cuz those happy smiling vacation or party pics that your friends post are indicative of how their day-to-day lives go….Sometimes people are so dumb.

But it made me wonder, how many people post the good, the bad and the ugly truth? I have a lot of friends that do, and I do too to some extent. But I also have friends that only post the pretty parts. So which side of the fence do you fall on? And if you’re sharing everything, how much is too much info?? Do you filter at all??

The study also said that FB users, who’ve had an account 2.5 years or longer average about 4.8 hours PER WEEK on FB…..I am clearly above average then, cuz I spend way more than that! Is that bad??

One of the DJ’s cited as an example of TMI her friend, who within moments of the tragedy, posted a FB status announcing the death of her son who died just a few moments after his birth. I don’t hold back much but I’m fairly certain that I wouldn’t be thinking about FB at that moment….but that’s just me…Avery’s Mom and I both posted the news of Avery’s birth pretty quickly. Is there a difference just because our news was joyful as opposed to tragic?

I vent alot on FB. When something or someone pisses me off, I immediately grab my phone to post a scathing status update lamenting whatever has been done that offends me. I try to fool myself into thinking I’m being pretty incognito about the person in question but the truth of it is that their identity is probably blatantly obvious to those who know me….and I will readily admit I have flown off the handle, effectively eviscerating someone verbally only to find out later I was spouting off about the wrong person. At which point I promptly deleted my rant but who knows how many people read it before I realized my mistake. I don’t do that anymore unless I know I have the facts….Classic case of too much spouting with too little information.

Do we pad the truth ever so slightly so make our lives appear more interesting? Have we become too dependant on FaceBook as a way to communicate with others or are we just lazy? I’ll be the first to admit, posting a status update letting everyone know what’s going on with me is way easier than making 57 phone calls.

Hmmmm…..

Weigh in, share your thoughts on what constitutes TMI!

🙂