Am I versatile? Cuz I got this award thing…

I’ve done won me an award…sorta….

It was bestowed upon me by Lori at Blather by Bubbe. Cuz she thinks I’m awesome…And who am I to argue???

It’s kinda like a chain letter award, in that winning it comes with a bit of work to be done. It works something like this: Someone says “Congrats, you won!” and then you have to:

1) Nominate 15 other bloggers (I don’t know 15 other bloggers who aren’t already recipients of this prestigious award, so I’m gonna nominate like 5. Cuz I’m a rebel)

2) Inform them of the nomination (Cuz duh, how the hell else will they know they’ve won??? Ryan Seacrest isn’t gonna deliver the good news…)

3)  Share 7 random things about yourself (Maybe, or maybe I’ll just share 6 random things. Or 11…I really hate being pigeon holed)

4) Thank the blogger who nominated you. (That I can do, cuz I like her!) 

5) Add the Versatile Blogger logo to your post (Did it, it’s the pretty green thing.)

And I’m doing these in no particular order, cuz that’s how I roll. Y’all will just have to keep up!

So a big THANK YOU  to Lori over at Blather by Bubbe….She’s a yiddish version of Grammy. If you’ve ever read the comments on my posts, you’ve met her. And I know all of y’all have been to visit her brand new blog because I told you to a while back, remember?? ‘Course you do…..She writes about life (the good, the bad and the ugly), the occasional road rage, and family. She has a great sense of humor and I enjoy her very much.

Random tidbit #1…. I am deathly afraid of birds. Any kind of bird. Unless it’s fried up crispy and served with mashed potatoes and gravy…

My first nomination is going to be Irish American Mom. You can hear her Irish accent when you read her blog! She shares fabulous recipes, stories  and customs from Ireland, the one she wrote about a typical Irish Christmas sounded like a lovely little slice of heaven. She’s warm and sweet and I really really enjoy her…And I’m making her Irish Beef Stew next week because hello??? Any stew involving the addition of Guinness is a winner in my book….


Nomination numero due is Melissa at Melissa*Nevaeh*Jiedyn. Melissa is Australian, and shares the sweetest pictures and stories of her adorable kiddos. I really get a kick out of the phrases and sayings she uses that are uniquely Aussie…

Random tidbit #2…. I shave my legs every time I shower, but some how rarely remember to shave my pits. Go figure.

Random tidbit #3…. When I was 7 my Grandpa thoroughly convinced me that Jesse James (the outlaw, not the dumbass ex of Sandra Bullock) was related to us. Which prompted me to brag about my famous cousin to the kids at school. Which caused them to make fun of me. Which caused me to try and pummel them. Which got me in trouble with the Principle….

Third nomination is Nuckingfutsmama. She’s funny as hell. ‘Nuff said!


Random tidbits #4, 5, and 6…..My middle name is Louise, which I hated growing up but don’t mind so much now. My Mom’s middle name was Dorcas. So as an adult I’m just counting my blessings cuz Louise ain’t so bad by comparison. Avery’s Mom was 3 days old before I figured out what to name her, as she was supposed to be a boy….

Last nomination is for Carrie at Cannibalistic Nerd. She’ll make you laugh until you cry. Or pee your pants just a little….

Yes, I’m aware I said I’d nominate 5 and only managed 4. It’s the rebel thing again…

Random tidbit #7….My pug’s name is PUG. Actually it’s Snickerdoodle (wha?? I was hungry) but we NEVER call her that. We call her Pug, or some variation thereof. Mostly cuz we’re lazy…

Random tidbit #8…I have a double jointed thumb. Just the left one. As did my Mom, and as does my eldest….


**disclaimer** If any of you whom I’ve nominated have (unbeknownst to me) already recieved this award please feel totally free to ignore me!


Lesson 8, Battling the uber picky adult…

Ugh. Here’s a partial list of things my Hubs will pick out of his food:

  • Mushrooms
  • Onions
  • Peppers, of any kind be they sweet, mild or hot
  • Olives, of any kind
  • artichokes
  • eggplant
  • goat cheese
  • feta

(This is also a list of my favorite things to eat…Hence my dilemma.)

My Daughter, Chef Vivi is…well….a friggin Chef. Her spouse (Captain America) thinks the only acceptable spices are salt and black pepper. Condiments and sauces are evil. Mustard is Satan…Hence her dilemma.

So what are a couple of adventurous cooks to do??? Personally, I left the “icky” stuff out of recipes for about 10 years before I said the heck with it and starting making him pick around it but that’s just me….

 According to The New York times, our cooking is not the problem in most cases. Thier study showed that 78 percent is genetic and the other 22 percent environmental.  Which means my Husband comes from a looooong line of nuttin’ but mashed potato eaters. Guess what else that means? If you’re a picky eater chances are you’re going to raise one too. Oy….

How to grow up and eat your damn vegetables. Or mustard. Or goat cheese. (seriously, who doesn’t love all cheeses equally??)

1. Do you want your own little rugrats to pitch a fit every time they don’t want to eat what Mom cooked for dinner? NO??? Then buck up and eat what’s in front of you, ya big babies! It’s called leading by example…you can GTS.

2. Clear your mind for the love of God. I swear 90% of adult pickiness is a mindset. Betcha a dollar if you did a blind taste test you’d like the majority of things you’ll go to your grave saying you HATE. Prove me wrong…

3. I used to tell my kids, “you don’t have to like everything you just have to try everything”. And see tip #2 before you try something new…

4. Add more fat to your recipes. Everybody knows butter and bacon make everything better!

5. Leave the yucky stuff in big chunks. I spent a long time practically pureeing ingredients only to have someone find the one piece of onion more than a 1/4 inch in circumference and then proceed to make that face. I’ve learned to just leave them big enough to be easily pushed aside.

How to not waste your time on the chronically picky.

1. Resign yourself to the cold hard truth that they are, in fact, willing to starve for their convictions. So don’t even bother making it a battle.

2. Logic is wasted on them. Have a glass of wine and just ignore the pile of uneaten food left on their plate, better yet make their picky asses clean the kitchen after dinner and you’ll never have to acknowledge the uneaten.

3. Whenever possible just put stuff on the side….you’ll save yourself a headache.

4. Always have a bottle of Barbeque sauce on hand, according to my husband anything yucky can be tolerated better if doused in the stuff…oy.

 5. Teach them to cook. If you can’t beat them at least teach them to fend for them-damn-selves….

And try really, really hard to develop a blind eye. When you figure out how to accomplish that please teach me how….


And now I need a bigger house….

Sometimes I fail to follow an idea to its illogical conclusion.

Such was the case when I gleefully purchased large baby toy items for Avery for Christmas. Where to put them, and how much room these suckers will take up was not a consideration. But should have been….

Have I mentioned that clutter drives me crazy?? Dust bunnies happily live undisturbed in my house for months. Hairballs the size of hamsters fall off my Golden Retriever and lie in peaceful slumber on my carpets for weeks. But clutter??? Stuff sitting in places it doesn’t belong? In piles??? THAT makes me insane….

My tree is coming down TODAY. The day after Christmas. Because I need the space to put the dang jumper-seat-bouncy-seat-Baby-Einstein-activity-center MONGO thing I got for Avery. And a completely adorable rocking horse thing that’s not a horse but an elephant, so a rocking elephant. And CUTE AS HELL WHICH IS WHY I BOUGHT IT…. Because it’s cluttering up my living room. And making me nutso. So the tree that normally enjoys reigning over the house in all it’s splendor until New Year’s Day has gotta go.

When Hubs and I bought this house 4 years ago, the open floor plan in the upstairs was perfect. It was just the two of us (plus beloved Mutts) and it seemed spacious. Then I crammed all of our furniture in it and it got a tad smaller. Then a couple of years ago we replaced our delapidated living room set with a beautiful new double sofa sectional with double reclining ends (so four, count them 4 recliners on this sucker) and the room got teensy. And because we’re morons and bought the corner piece for the sectional that no one ever sits on, it leaves me with nowhere to put the Christmas tree without lugging the corner piece that no one ever sits on downstairs and shoving the tree in the corner. The corner that Avery’s toys now need to go in…so they’re not out in the middle of the living room making me chew my fingernails down to the quick….

OCD much?? No, why do you ask?

Storing this completely useless bigass piece of furniture that no one ever sits on (OK. Yes, I’m bitter about the purchase of the corner piece and wish with all my heart we had just purchased two stupid sofas. Thanks for pointing that out) in the finished basement shouldn’t be an an issue at all. It’s the largest room in the entire house. Virtually devoid of furnishings. Except for that big honking space killer pool table Hubs bought last year. The one that takes up the ENTIRE room. That no one ever plays pool on because we use it as a laundry folding table….And so putting this massive corner piece down there pretty effectively blocks access to the stairs. Unless you turn sideways and scuttle like a crab. Which is totally fun when you’re carrying a laundry basket. Or a baby.

So I need a bigger house.

So we have more space to hold our completely useless and massively proportioned furnishings. And Avery’s stuff.



Epic, just friggin epic…

Every trip she makes home, I steal Chef Vivi away for some Me time. Every time it’s a silly, spontaneous giggle-fest…

This time it was Epic….

Went something like this:

4:00 P.M. – Leave work a little early (YAY!) text her I’m on my way home, slow down to 25 m.p.h. at the curb in front of the house so she can jump in…..we got stuff to do y’all…

4:30 to 6:15 P.M. – Go to 4 different furniture stores looking for a new arm chair/ottoman for me. Buy one I found at the first store we looked at…oy.

6:30 – SUSHI!!!

7:15 – Decide we’ll kill some of the 2 hours until our movie starts by heading to Hobby Lobby. I have Avery pictures I need frames for….

7:30 – Arrive Hobby Lobby, discover they close in 30 minutes! I’m skeptical but Viv assures me thirty minutes is plenty of time to find everything I need to bring this vague idea I have for displaying massive amounts of framed baby and wedding pictures on my limited wall space to fruition.

I need heavy weight ribbon in various widths, do you know how many rolls of ribbon Hobby Lobby has?? About 7000. As the store is announcing “HOBBY LOBBY SHOPPERS, THE STORE WILL BE CLOSING IN 20 MINUTES” I narrow my choices down to 400. “HOBBY LOBBY SHOPPERS, THE FRIGGIN STORE WILL BE CLOSING IN 15 MINUTES”, I narrow it down to 5 and run (literally) across the store for some kind of shelf/hanging thingy that I only have a mental picture of. “HOBBY LOBBY SHOPPERS, GET YOUR SHIT AND GET OUT. THIS JOINT IS CLOSING IN 10 EFFIN’ MINUTES”. My incredibly brilliant child, finds exactly what I need and we throw 2 in the cart as I scream in terrified panic “Frames!!!! I NEED FRAMES!!!We sprint over to the frames section where they have 568,7564,764 frames to choose from. Oy…..”HOBBY LOBBY SHOPPERS, WE’RE CLOSING IN 5 FRIKKIN MINUTES IF WE HAVE TO DRAG YOUR ASSES OUT THE DAMN DOOR. GET THE HELL OUT. WE’VE BEEN HERE 12 STINKING HOURS AND WOULD LIKE TO GO HOME BITCHES!!!!” I yell “I need one 8×10 and two 5×7’s GO!” “this one??” as she holds a frame above her head so I can see from 3 isles over….”ummmm no, not quite right” “this ONE??” “YES, GET TWO!”

7:59.9999999 P.M. – I throw a sufficient amount of money at the weary cashier and happily mosey to the car with exactly what I envisioned in my head. ThankyouverymuchMr.pushyhobbylobbyannouncerdude.

Still have an hour to kill so to the mall we go, ‘cuz it’s right next door….To window shop. On Friday night. On Christmas Eve Eve Friday night. ‘Cuz clearly I have lost my damn mind.

8:15 P.M. – Enter Claire’s, where we meet the epic, most amazingly coiffed, totally spectacular young man named Andre….He works there. He’s had a bad night, but makes a valiant effort to greet us pleasantly anyway. I politely respond “we’re good thank you, how are you?” And he proceeds to tell us about his completely unsatisfying night of catching shoplifters. Andre needed to vent y’all and we have those kind of faces that say “I care”….

And this happened:


Then we actually purchased some stuff and this happened:

Andre Honey, YOU ARE EPIC! As is your hair, whom we have dubbed “Rupert”.

 8:45 P.M. – Leave the Mall with a warm fuzzy place in our hearts, and some randomly unnecessary purchases…