Let’s start a lawsuit. And make it a big one….

Shenanigans at the Playboy mansion??? Wha?? Negative stereotypes there?? Double standards??? Say it ain’t so….

That is what this guy is claiming in his lawsuit against the Playboy mansion. He claims that charging himself and other skeevy types gentlemen $1000 to attend the “Leather Meets Lace” party with the Bunnies but letting attractive bimbos ladies in for free is degrading and potentially harmful to the delicate sensibilities of said ladies. He claims it’s discrimination. And he’s he’s suing on behalf of other men too. Because they are too devastated by the severity of this unjust situation to speak on their own behalf, I assume. ‘Cuz he’s giver ya’ll….

Here’s a list of other atrocities that I feel need to be addressed while I’m all riled up about the unfairness of life…

Unfair Crap we should all sue somebody over

1.  Getting fat from eating fast food. Wait…….somebody already did that….never mind.

2.  Getting cancer from smoking. Wait……bastards beat us to that one too…

Ok, here we go…I got it now.

3.  Suffering corneal damage from the glitter that got in your eye at the strip club. Those strippers are loaded with cash.

They don't just give these shoes away...

4.  Catching the bird/swine/Asian/rhinoceros flu from the NASTY handle of the shopping cart at Wal-Mart, they should clean those things.  Everybody knows those Wal-mart heirs are filthy stinking rich.

5.  Ruining your favorite ZZ Top tour t-shirt from 1972 with stains from splattering grease while frying chicken in Crisco. The Smucker’s people own it, and they gotta have ton’s of mulah. Either them or go after Tyson, take your pick.

6.  Having to replace your carpet when those munchkins spill that effing red Kool-Aid on it. I had a carpet cleaner guy laugh at me one time when I complained he didn’t get the red stain out “Lady, that’s a permanent dye. Only thing getting rid of that is new carpet”.  So sue the pants off the Kraft Food Company ‘cuz there should be a warning label on that stuff.

Yes, lets just skip the sippy cup and go straight to the water cannon.

7.  Enduring a painful sunburn when that SPF 4 you put on at 10 A.M. had the nerve to let you burn after 11 hours at the lake. Coppertone is owned by Merck, who is one of those MONGO drug companies so they deserve to be sued…

Smug little heifer...

8.  Having to survive the horrors of a papercut while making these dang votive wraps. Papercuts hurt like a mofo and that Martha Stewart is a masochistic bitch.

9.  Suffering the noxious, malodorous and possibly toxic effects of too many deviled eggs consumed by your Husband at Easter time. I’d say sue the Easter Bunny, but really he’s just a pawn in the evil plan to commercialize Easter. Those Eggland people, they’re the ones to blame.

10.  The economic impact of being forced to spend your hard earned money on all that dental floss/dental pics/toothpicks to get the dang popcorn husks out of your teeth. Orville Redenbacher needs to pay.

Look at him. Taunting us with his pearly, hull-free choppers.

Can you say “Class Action”?

🙂

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