Lesson 3, picking the right time and place.

I was perusing the headlines on Yahoo News while bored at work recently and came across this one:

Top 5 places to pop the question. And I have an issue with some of their choices…

A hot air balloon ride?? Pass. Cuz I have vertigo and I’m pretty sure I’d be yakking on somebody…

A horse drawn carriage ride?? Because the smell of horse poo is so romantic.  If you’ve ever spent any time around horses, you know it’s going to happen. That’s a fact.

Do guys really plan it out like that?? Seems kinda analytical to google “top 5 places to pop the question” and then actually plan a trip to one of those places. Maybe I’m jaded…I like the spontaneity of being carried away by love and passion and just blurting it out unintentionally…

Hubs proposed to me after some “Really Happy To See You!” kanoodling on the hood of my car. In the parking lot of my work. Parked in front of the owners office window, (albeit late at night and after hours so the place was deserted)…. Yes, Grammy was a big ‘ol slutty no-no, but I was a big ‘ol slutty no-no in love…still am. True Story.

Captain America proposed to Chef Vivi outside of the airport when she picked him up. He had it planned out differently but was so impatient he couldn’t wait and just dropped to one knee right on the sidewalk….

To me, that’s romantic…

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not opposed to being whisked away on a romantic vacation. Not even a little bit….And if that’s how your Hubby proposed to you, then yay you! Or if it’s how you’re planning on proposing to the woman of your dreams, then yay you again! Go to it!

But….

In the interest of stirring shit up fairness, I’ve come up with an opposing list of “Top 5 places you should never, EVER pop the question”

Here we go:

1. The bathroom. Because you should never be in there at the same time anyway. Because eww. Unless you’re sharing a bubble bath and then I’m totally on board with that. But any activities involving bodily functions, NO. Just NO, NO, NO. I don’t care how big the rock in that ring is…

2. While watching Sister Wives.  I really feel that your poor timing will send a very mixed message.

3. While waiting in the doctor’s office for the results of your Gonorrhea test. Because you’re a skeevy little scuzzbucket. Unless you got it from the woman you’re proposing to and then ya’ll deserve each other…

4. From jail. Really?? If I even have to explain why this is a bad idea then you’re just a pathetic moron…

5. When the waiter brings your credit card back to the table saying “I’m sorry, do you have another card? This one was declined.”  Unless she’s loaded and you don’t mind looking like a money grubbing Man-Ho…If you’re just a decent guy who can’t add, hire an accountant and pick another time and place…and buy a calculator.

I’m really glad we had this talk…

🙂

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6 thoughts on “Lesson 3, picking the right time and place.

  1. Love your proposal story! My own hubby had planned a whole knight in shining armor proposal. He had reserved the armor and was trying to find the horse when my best friends told him if he proposed to me that way I’d run for the hills (probably true). So he cancelled the armor and asked me to go to lunch one day. He showed up in my office (where people from other departments were loitering in OUR department for some strange reason) dropped to one knee beside my desk and the rest is history!

  2. Love your advice to never, ever propose when watching an episode of Sister Wives. Despite your warnings, I think there are many proposals from jail, to women who have only ever known their potential husband behind bars. Those proposals never cease to amaze me. Your blog is very funny. Thanks for all your advice and witty posts.

  3. Excellent words of wisdom! (The closest I ever got to a real proposal was “So, if I asked you to marry me ten years from now, would you do it?”)

    • Ha! Classic! My first husband said one day “whatcha doin’ this weekend?” I replied “nuthin much” so he said “wanna get married?”….I feel your pain Jo!

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