I. IS. SKEERED.
Our lil’ Peanut could get here any day now, at 37 weeks she’s considered full term. I read a little factoid yesterday that said 95% of all births occur 2 weeks before or 2 weeks after the official due date….Her due date is October 31st.
I ain’t even gonna lie, Grammy is scared shitless. There….I’ve said it. I feel ill prepared….
I’m completely ready to be The Grammy, to welcome her and completely surrender myself to worshipping at her teensy little chubby feet. It’s the getting her here that has my stomach in knots.
I’ve given birth twice, both times completely naturally. I know how all that works. However I’ve never been on this side of the birthing table….I honestly think I prefer being with the one with her legs in the stirrups, at least then I knew what my job was…Grunt. Push. Holler. splloooosh splopppp…BABY! My role was clearly defined. Now?? Not so much…
My Mom drove me nuts when I was in labor…the fussing, the “oh my poor baby-s”, the fretting, the wringing of hands….nobody needs that when they’re trying to expel another human from their body. I had to make my poor Brother wrangle her out into the waiting room and hold her down in there til it was over. I don’t want to be that Mom…
Britt wants me in the delivery room with her. So do I hold her hand, not hold her hand?? Watch what’s going on down there or focus on her head?? Coach? Cheer? How much is too much? How much is not enough?? She’s not going to know what she needs, she’s a rookie. I’m supposed to be the experienced one! Do I go all Shirley MacLain from “Terms of Endearment” on the staff’s asses or let them do their job?? Who knows best, me or them?? Auuuughhhhhhh!
And what if, God forbid, there are complications? Stay with my child, or stay with her child?? Who needs me more, the Momma or the Baby??
I need a friggin’ manual. Seriously. Does anybody know of one??
I googled ways to be supportive in the labor/delivery room (all aimed at the Dad to be) and my “Grammy” hospital bag is packed with the recommended items and already in the truck…I was thrilled *insert eye roll* to read one thing recommended repeatedly; “don’t let your Mother-in-law in the room”….that crap better not apply to Mama’s too! I was invited dammit…I reckon I’m as ready as I can be…
I hate feeling helpless.