Mama’s PLEASE let your Babies grow up to be Cowboys….

This is Kolton Joe. He’s betrothed to Avery….

 ‘Cuz me and His Mama said so! I mean…..hello??? Fully precious….I had soooo much fun taking his picture!

 YeeHaw! 

Avery’s toast…..she’ll never be able to resist!

 This is the kind of photo session I love doing…. 

 

 I just keep clicking, he does all the work…

I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to take a bad picture of this kid…  

 Cowboyin’ is serious business.

  Cowboys don’t cry. Even when they fall down and get an owie…

 See? All better! Those eyes….

 I felt so protected! No varmints were gettin’ me….nosiree!

 “Do you feel lucky, Punk?”

 I heart him….

 And like all good Cowboys, he hearts his Mama….

🙂

Today I am thankful for…NOTHING!

I can’t remember the last time I had a Sunday when there was nothing pressing that had to get done. Today is that day!

I. GOT. NUTHIN’!!!

No housework, no crafting, no cooking for a crowd, no entertaining! WHOOT!!!

I’m making Hubs some French Toast this morning to make up for the pititful version of that dish he was forced to endure last Sunday at Spearfish Canyon Lodge. Trying out a new recipe for Chicken Scarpiello for supper tonight and I’ll accomplish both while in my jammies!

I’m going to read my book.

Maybe I’ll bake some cookies, have a new recipe for those I want to try out too….

Whatever I decide to do today, it will be because I feel like doing it!

Dontcha love this kind of day??

🙂

So I totally owed you this one….

You thought I forgot to give you recipe #2 for feeding the masses, didn’t you??

I didn’t, I’m just slow!

Here is it, sans a bunch of pictures ‘cuz that part I did forget!

Chicken Carnitas

  • 5 lbs mixed boneless chicken thighs and breasts
  • 1 bottle of beer
  • 1 bottle fajita style marinade
  • 3 cups uncooked jasmine rice
  • 4 oz can chopped green chilis
  • ½ to 1 pound uncooked black beans
  • 2 large onions
  • 3-4 red, green or yellow bell peppers
  • 1 pound shredded Monterey jack cheese
  • Flour tortillas
  • Salt and pepper
  • Sour cream
  • Salsa

Season chicken with salt and pepper, then throw it in the crockpot, dump in the beer and marinade. Cook on low for 6-8 hours.

Sort and rinse the beans, put in a pot and fill with water to about 1 inch above the beans. Cover and bring to a quick boil. Remove pan from heat and let beans soak until about an hour before chicken is done.  At the end of the soaking time, drain off soaking water and refill pan with water, cook over med/high heat for one hour. Drain and mix in the green chilis. Set aside.

At the end of the cooking time for chicken drain off juice, reserving 1 cup. Shred chicken with a fork, then mix in reserved juice.  Set aside.

Cook rice as directed on package. You can either leave the rice separate, or mix it with the black beans and green chilis.

Peel and slice onions about a 1/4 inch thick, separate into rings. Halve the peppers, remove seeds, stems and pith, slice into 1/4 inch rings. Saute in large skillet with a little olive oil until tender.

Pile shredded chicken, beans, rice and peppers on tortilla, top with cheese, sour cream and salsa. Roll it up and enjoy!

**note** you can substitute 2 or 3 cans of canned black beans if you choose.

 The boys around here tore this up!!!

Enjoy!

PS….Because I love ya, here’s a bonus recipe! No pics because I just tried it for the first time this week and had no idea how effing good it was going to be!! Easy, ridiculously yummy, all I ever ask for in a dinner idea….The first night we had it with garlic mashed potatoes, the second night I shredded the leftover pork, put some dijon on a hoagie roll, topped the whole thing with some sliced provolone and broiled til the cheese melted! FABULOUS!!!

AMAZING CROCKPOT PORK TENDERLOIN

  • 1 (2 pound) pork tenderloin
  • 1 (1 ounce) envelope dry onion soup mix
  • 1 cup water
  • 3/4 cup red wine
  • 3 tablespoons minced garlic
  • 3 tablespoons soy sauce
  • freshly ground black pepper to taste

Mix it all together and pour over the tenderloin, cook on low for 6-8 hours….

🙂

Lesson 1: Dealing with a Douche Canoe

Have a troublesome Ex? Then this is for you….

Douche Canoe: I feel the name sums it up but let me clarify for those who have led a charmed and sheltered life….A douche canoe is just another moniker for a scumbag, deadbeat, dirtball or any person who is generally hateful, heartless, devoid of humanity, irresponsible, mean, believes in using people for their own gain, or well……douchey…Here’s how the Urban Dictionary defines it.

Chalk it up to a defective abdul oblongata. Or too much glue sniffed while still a youth, or maybe their Mom snorted coke while she was pregnant. Maybe they were dropped on their head as a child, or maybe they’re just really, really ignorant. Whichever scenario you choose to lay the blame on, Douche Canoes exist and you will at some point in your life be forced to deal with them.

Revenge may be sweet, but vengeful shenanigans are way fun! The plan here is not to cause physical damage, just to really, really annoy and confuse them….if you see them wandering around muttering “why me???” with a dazed look on their face, then well done my vengeful minions, well done!

  1. Take out subscriptions to “Living with Aids” magazines in their name and have them delivered to their new significant other’s address.
  2. Circulate flyers and whistles in their neighborhood/apt building informing people that this person is a convicted flasher and if seen do not make eye contact, blow the whistle as loud as you can, we have undercover officers in the area…
  3. While you’re making flyer’s, make up a few hundred more listing their name and phone number, advertising “cheap iPads $50 bucks or best offer” and hang them on grocery store/laundry mat/walmart bulletin boards.
  4. Take out a ad in the local newspaper advertising their desire to find a transvestite lover.
  5. Use plain white contact paper to make a bumper sticker that reads: “Proud Member of the KKK” and adhere it to their car…
  6. Have flowers or balloons delivered to their office with a card that reads “Congrats on your successful gender reassignment surgery!”
  7. Google “get free stuff” and sign them up for everything. Those websites are notorious for sharing email addresses so their email account will be flooded with junk mail…
  8. Get up early Sunday morning and put a sign in their yard that says” Open House, free coffee and doughnuts 8 am to noon”, hang a couple of posters on the corners directing traffic to the open house…
  9. Grease the door handles of their car with Vaseline.
  10. Go to all the bars/nightclubs in town and hang their picture in the ladies room with the caption: “Missing, father of 6. Please help us find our Daddy”

*Disclaimer* I’ve never actually done any of these things to my poop of an Ex. The worst I ever did was leave the plastic wrap on the american cheese I put on his sandwich. Unless you count divorcing him…BUT just thinking about fun but relatively harmless ways to exact revenge has always amused me….

**Disclaiimer #2** I did not coin the name Douche Canoe. The Bloggess did that, but I’m assuming she won’t mind my using it as long as I use it correctly. Which I feel confident I have.

 Plus, I really feel it’s a total argument-ender. You get in an argument, ya call ’em a Douche Canoe and boom! No more argument because there’s no comeback to top that….

You’re welcome!

This has been a public service announcement. We now return to our regularly scheduled programming….

🙂

I’m not opposed to bribery….

Dear Avery,

I have your baby car seat installed in my truck. It has toys attached to the handle that jingle and makes happy little noises when I drive, it’s all ready for you to get comfy in for your ride home from the hospital.

I was all geared up and ready to meet you on Monday when you played peek-a-boo with us, and now waiting for your arrival is even harder than it was before….Grammy is really antsy and you’re just being a stinker!

I’ll make you a deal. You come on out asap and I promise I will always have bubbles for you to play with, and I promise to always let you have the first cookie out of the oven even though your Poppa will pout because he won’t get the first one anymore. I promise to read your favorite story to you even if I’ve already read it to you 20 times that day.

In addition, I promise to always keep your secrets, so you go ahead and tell me everything. I promise not to judge you unfairly. I promise to never let you forget how brilliant and beautiful you are. I promise to never, ever tell you “not now, I’m busy” when you want to play, Poppa can order pizza for dinner or make a PB &J.

You have my word that I will attend every sporting event, dance recital, school function you participate in, and to cheer loudly and with much enthusiasm even if you suck at said activity. While we’re on the subject of school, I also promise to always have your back if kids pick on you….

As God is my witness you will never have to endure the horror of orange-powder-coated fake macaroni and cheese from a box. Grammy will make you the good stuff, with real cheese. Ditto for instant mashed potatoes….

I promise not to let you leave the house looking like a slutty no-no when you’re a teenager. Furthermore, I promise to teach you respect and manners so Grown ups will find you a joy to be around as opposed to a spoiled pain in the ass. I promise to help you remember to toe the line, and to know that your actions will have consequences so that you will grow up to be a mature, responsible human being. You’ll thank me later for instilling these fundamental values in you….

Because I love you soooooo much, I likewise promise to leave the driving lessons to your Poppa….you are welcome!

So, you have to admit I’ve made you a pretty sweet deal….now come play with me already!!!

Love,

Your Extremely Impatient Grammy

🙂