Remember my “Things I’d do if I won the lotto” list from a while back? Well here’s a follow-up!
THINGS I WOULD NOT DO WITH A SEMI-TRUCK LOAD OF MOOLAH:
1. Buy one of these. Because how pompous do I need to be??? All I need a car to do is get me from one shopping destination to another and then home in air-conditioned (or heated) comfort and have a place to plug my ipod into. Heated seats in the winter is a nice bonus… Seriously, this dumb thing cost $2,400,000. I’m sorry but if you feel you need this car you’re an idiot, Tom Cruise I’ma talking to you….
2. Bling myself out. Do I need to dress like Mr T?? I don’t think so….
3. Get ridiculous plastic surgery…..a tummy tuck, boob lift and some lypo? Maybe. But this?? HELLS NO! I am not a duck thankyouverymuch.
4. Build this house….it’s 63 acres. THE HOUSE. Not the land it sits on, the house itself is 63 frikkin’ acres. Really??? By the time I walked from one end to the other A) I’d have totally forgotten why I went there in the first place, B) I’d be too exhausted to do what I went there for. It has 29 bedrooms. That’s not a home, that’s a hotel and if you want to live in a hotel why not just rent a suite for a couple years….geesh.
5. File for bankruptcy. Helloooooo?? How does that even happen when you’re loaded?? Apparently even with millions, some people don’t know how to live within their means….yes Mr. Trump, I mean you.
6. Become a different kind of person… I’m already snarky and opinionated so I’m pretty sure millions won’t change me!
7. Do dishes. EVER AGAIN! That’s what I’ll have Helga for…
8. Go to the grocery store for everyday mundane groceries. Thank You my sweet, sweet Helga. Now the fancy schmancy stuff I can only get at the kitchen store? That’s different. Safeway? Zero fun. Someone’s in the Kitchen? Full on ridiculous fun!
9. Let someone else have total control of my money. No sneaking $1000 dollar a night hooker fees onto my Visa….I’ll be watching for that kind of shenanigan…Ditto for investing $100,000 in your Brother-in-Law’s ant farm. That crap ain’t gonna fly Mr. CPA…
10. Be cryogenically frozen. Because ewwwww….
Pass. Thanks anyway Mr. Creepy McCreeperton…
What would ya’ll do or not do if you hit the big time? Hmmm??