Oh Henry..

Still reading The Autobiography of Henry VIII…..on page 720 of 1119 now! Whoot!!! Remind me why I decided to tackle this behemoth of a book??? Oh yeah….I like Tudor era history….*Head slap*

Want to know how many books I have bought for my eReader since I started my affair with Henry?? 4. (6 if you include the one about his daughter Elizabeth and the one about her cousin Mary, which I will not be starting any time soon. The Tudors are gonna have to live without me for a while once I’m done with Henry’s shenanigans) So 4 books that I would love to read. And can’t because Henry has sucked me into his selfish drama…

The guy did, however, save me from dying of boredom when I was forced to suffer many many long hours of the jury selection process. He was busy beheading a wife and that totally trumped the defense attorney’s monotonously feeble attempt to convince anyone that her client wasn’t in possession of Meth just because it was in her bloodstream. Lame.

I am getting a little tired of Henry’s complaining about that leg of his…It’s not possessed by Satan Dummy. It’s infected because you don’t bathe regularly and live in a time before anyone was smart enough to invent penicillin. Too bad for you, put a leach on it…

And by the way Henry, ol’ buddy ol’ pal,  that whole “why can’t you give birth to a son you sorry excuse for a wife–bend down and hug this chopping block”  thing is all you Dude. Get over it, your daughter ruled England for over 45 years (7 years longer than you my friend) . Ya know why?? Because girls ROCK, that’s why. Jerk. And here’s another thing Hank…you were no prize either. Showtime totally jazzed you up otherwise no one would have watched the show…

Yummy. In a pouty, spoiled arrogant Ass kinda way....

Sorry Dude, but not even if you cover yourself in chocolate...

Sometimes though, I really feel like poor Henry was just a lonely guy searching for true love. Either that or he was a complete and total ass….The Romantic in me refuses to give up on him, it had to have been hard to be so spoiled that you never had to do anything for yourself and at the same time have so many people using you to gain the power they wanted and to find yourself shoved into a position of power that you never wanted in the first place.

I’ll update again when I’m another couple hundred pages further….or when I finish this monster in which case we’ll meet for a glass of wine and you can listen to me complain in person about Dear ol’ Henry and his twisted, complicated, spoiled life…

🙂

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