“Now I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
Please let it be after I meet my Avery!”
Someone please explain to me how it is possible to be so completely enamoured of someone you’ve never met. I’m a goner, I can feel it. This tiny little person is going to enter my life in a few short weeks, turn it upside down and transform me into her own personal devotee. Her willing slave. Her big ‘ol ball of Marshmallow fluff….I’m doomed!
From the moment we heard her Momma was pregnant, I felt ridiculously, fiercely protective of her. Not because the circumstances of her conception were less than ideal, but because of Britt’s history of miscarriages. I felt like if I sent enough love and happy thoughts directly into the belly, the Baby would stay in there the requisite amount of time. AND IT WORKED TOO!!! Grammy has powers!!! I should have a cape, or maybe a cool costume with a big G on it….:D
This was the “Peanut” bump at 16 weeks. Past the first trimester, and finally able to openly celebrate her existence! Yippee!!!!!! And Grammy started shopping….and shopping……..and shopping.
“Hello, my name is Grammy and I’m addicted to buying baby stuff”
Is there a support group for that???
The 21 week Avery bump! Not Peanut, not Baby, AVERY!!!! I am not ashamed to admit I got a little teary during the sonogram when the ultrasound tech showed us her face, her little face!! With discernable features!! I was in complete and total awe, and completely and irrevoccably in love. My fate was sealed….
Lookie! She’s getting fat! (The belly, not the Momma! Oh Lord, Pregzilla is gonna kill me…) The last official week of the 2nd trimester….yay! I find myself perusing pregnancy websites. What’s she doing in there?? How is she changing?? I found out that this week, she can open her eyes and look around! Wonder what it looks like in there from her perspective??
And I worry. (Ask my family, it’s kinda what I do…) I don’t allow myself to worry about will she be ok. For that I pray…I worry about things like will she be a fuss bucket? Will she like me or will I be “Monica” to her?? (Those of you who were avid “Friends” fans, as I was, will get that reference. Those few weirdo’s out there who weren’t, Monica had built in baby repellent. They cried whenever she was closer than 2 feet from them much to her chagrin)… What the heck am I gonna do with my Mongo houseplants which I’m sure she will be fascinated with and think look tasty and fun??? Is dog hair really bad for babies?? GOOD LORD WHAT IF SHE’S ALLERGIC TO DOGS???????????? OR CHEESE????? How can I cook with out cheese????? Arrrrrghhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!! I worry about more practical things too, like finances, daycare, etc. but those kind of things have, in my humble opinion, a way of working themselves out. We have had our share of financial woes and we’ve always made it through. This will be no different. We got this!
I also worry if I will be the kind of Grandmother my Mom was. For a tiny little petite woman she left GYNORMOUS Granny shoes to fill….Will I reach the bar she set so very, very high?? Will Avery pack her little suitcase and call me to come get her when she’s mad at her Momma?? (And then climb up a tree to wait for me to get there) My most fervent prayer is not only for Avery’s safety and health and happiness but also that she and I have the same relationship my girls had with their Granny. She’s been gone 13 years and I know they both still miss her. I hope I inspire that kind of devotion in my own Grandkids….
In the meantime, while waiting oh so IMPATIENTLY for her arrival I’m going to practice my Baby Whisperer skills. Research remedies for ridding oneself of built in baby repellent….Just in case…..